Once again, we’ve been on the hunt, slogging through the wilderness of the internet and battling wild pets in the home office jungle who want treats during work hours. And all this to present you now the best Tweets of the day. We wish you a lot of fun!
My best friend who has only dated girls since we were teens said after pandemic she wants to date a guy and I told her that yes, one of the side effects of covid is loss of taste.
— Camilla Blackett (@camillard) January 26, 2021
PETER DOOCY: Mr President, what did you talk to Vladimir Putin about?
PRESIDENT BIDEN: You. He sends his best. pic.twitter.com/Fq0zglc9aK
— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) January 26, 2021
Having Ted Cruz and Josh Hawley on the Senate jury for Trump's impeachment trial is like having the lookout guy and the getaway driver on the jury for the bank robber.
— Randi Mayem Singer (@rmayemsinger) January 26, 2021
the way iphone alarms wake you up is so sudden and aggressive
— Durkio Krazy. (@TeeTheFirstt) January 26, 2021
BREAKING: Biden is ordering his Department of Justice to end private prison contracts. This is huge.
— Public Citizen (@Public_Citizen) January 26, 2021
me: i would like to buy a piano
me: i’d also like to buy a motorcycle lol do u know where i can find a good one
yamaha: ur not gonna believe this
— randy (@randypaint) January 26, 2021
Dolly Parton wrote “Jolene” and “I Will Always Love You” on the same day and I’ve been “getting ready to vacuum” for the past two weeks.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) January 27, 2021
after 10 months out of school, the very first day of in-person learning, what do they do? after everything I’ve been through. they give my son a recorder to take home.
— Sweatpants Cher🔸 (@House_Feminist) January 27, 2021
Hi. I’m 42 and still don’t know what to do with my arms while I sleep.
— your other mom (@difficultpatty) January 26, 2021
My wife is a teacher and apparently one kid has been changing his name to 'Reconnecting' during the Zoom lessons so that he doesn't get asked any questions. Been doing it for weeks. The lad doesn't need to worry about his education, he's already a bona fide genius.
— Chris Arnold (@ChrisArnoldInc) January 25, 2021