Debt to many people is possibly a stressful thing but debt to me means you had more fun than you were supposed to. With that being said: is everyone in the oval office just constantly laughing everyday due to the amount of fun they are having? Well they have 21.999 trillion problems but having fun isn’t one. Enjoy today’s top 10 Tweets and remember if your having too much fun you’re probably in debt! 😉
Straight women in lesbian bars think everyone wants them when we’re really just staring because we can’t figure out whose ex you are.
— Kate Jones (@QTPiK8) January 27, 2020
Her: After sex I love to share our deepest thoughts 🙂
Me: Instead of a stapler I call it a desk crocodile
Her: Actually let's just sleep
— Jon (@ArfMeasures) January 27, 2020
If you’re bored on Valentine’s Day just go up to random couples in restaurants and yell “Who the hell is she?!”
— Piper (@xxsomebunnyxx) January 27, 2020
today at the gym they tried to sign me up with a trainer wtf do i look like a pokémon
— James (@CaucasianJames) January 27, 2020
Universities: Need help? Use our mental health services!
-A golden retriever comes to the library once a week
-There's one therapist on the campus of 40,000 students
-There are bathroom stalls you can cry in for free!
— Gabi Drolet (@gabrielledrolet) January 27, 2020
what if when u died, instead of seeing ur life flash before ur eyes, you had to hear back anything you ever said while you were horny
— lil arab (@sweatyhairy) January 27, 2020
the united states is $22 trillion dollars in debt and they have the audacity to try and give ME a credit score? worry about yourself first babygirl
— #⃝ mckenzie (@meowkenxing) January 27, 2020
Husband and I get up at the same time in the morning.
Me: Lets out the dog, showers, gets dressed, gets daughter dressed, puts on makeup, dries hair, curls hair, does daughter’s hair, feeds her breakfast, makes coffee, makes her lunch and mine.
— Whine Mom (@shamazing79) January 27, 2020
absolutely horrific at flirting part 5738272 pic.twitter.com/zPjDOSmZUF
— ellie schnitt (@holy_schnitt) January 28, 2020
coronavirus, Kobe, now this. bad luck really does come in 3’s https://t.co/oeQMqI667G
— ً (@Grandpa) January 27, 2020