Half the week is gone, and only two days remain till weekend. To the couples: remember Valentine’s Day is in about two weeks so you better go and get a surprise for your partner. For the single ones or those who don’t celebrate the day of florists, sorry I meant day of the lovers, be happy you save money. Now go and have fun with our Daily
#1:
me: are we there yet? are we there yet? are we there yet?
cop: if you don’t shut up I’ll turn this car around and none of us are going to jail
— rice man (@pilau) January 28, 2020
#2:
Being in your 30s means technically you're a millennial but you also remember when paying with a credit card meant the cashier sighing heavily and pulling out the SHUNCK SHUNCK machine
— ErBear (@Rica_Bee) January 29, 2020
#3:
the biggest mystery in the music industry is Selena Gomez albums constantly topping the charts when NO ONE will admit to listening to her what tf is going on here
— first-mate prance (@bocxtop) January 28, 2020
#4:
This is how you know you’ve officially “made it”. My hotel has a frickin’ soda stream. pic.twitter.com/Yl5dHQbi3K
— Dan White (@atdanwhite) January 28, 2020
#5:
google docs and sheets are down. the office has descended into chaos. my boss is crying. the printer burst into flames. our clients are calling nonstop. bout to slack my work husband and ask him if he wants to get outta here. we’re free baby
— jen merritt!!! (@jennifermerr) January 27, 2020
#6:
did u miss her. or did u miss the journeys that you two shared. how she was desired by everyone. did you miss the way she looked in those glasses and that cute striped sweater of hers. that’s right, she is Waldo. you lost her and you’re never going to find that again
— king of wannabe indies (@DakDeMarco) January 28, 2020
#7:
wait when ya’ll are sexting do you also use the backshots emoji 🙇♀️
— first-mate prance (@bocxtop) January 28, 2020
#8:
my favorite part about being an adult is spending $100 on groceries and then ordering take out
— Laurazepam (@andlikelaura) January 28, 2020
#9:
Pro tip: if you take the ice tray out of your freezer you have unlimited ice pic.twitter.com/NbWxhtYL80
— Sloth Bryant (@SeattleSloth_) January 28, 2020
#10:
me: I hate when I walk into a room and forgot why I went in there haha
patient grabs my ankle: epipen
— jo diggity (@WhaJoTalkinBout) January 28, 2020