Best of Twitter from January 4, 2020

While the year is up to an interesting start, we hope you already got used to write 2020 instead of 2019 (who are we kidding, we’ll do it until spring) and from the sesam street over selfmade nachos to kicking guests out, we have a wild mix today. Enjoy the best tweets of the day.

#1:

[Coming home after first day working at a new pizza place]
HER: Did you—
ME: Say “lotzarella” every time someone ordered a pizza with extra cheese until they fired me again? Yeah.
— MehGyver (@TheAndrewNadeau) January 3, 2020

#2:

Fuck it. Enough sitting in this room by myself. I'm going to move to a different room and sit by myself there
— Reticent Turnip (@ReticentTurnip) January 2, 2020

#3:

[breakfast]
Me: any specials?
Mom: please move out
— Mom Jeans (@momjeansplease) January 3, 2020

#4:

is there any historical analogue for a country that's constantly getting itself into foreign conflicts while falling apart internally, is that good
— 100% nice (@InternetHippo) January 3, 2020

#5:

What scares me most about being stranded on a desert island is having to figure out how to make all the ingredients for nachos from scratch.
— Bison (@FunnyBison) January 3, 2020

#6:

[5 PM]: Come in. Thanks for coming over.

[6 PM]: I’m so happy we were able to get together.

[7 PM]: This is so much fun.

[8 PM]: We should do this again.

[9 PM]: I’m going to need you to get the fuck out of my house now.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) January 2, 2020

#7:

girlfriend: the doctor says we cant conceive naturally, would you be up for adoption?

me: no i already have parents
— inkedupandsonic (@sonictyrant) January 2, 2020

#8:

[8 AM – calling doctor's office]

Answering machine: Our office hours are Monday thru Thursday 9:15 AM to 4 PM. We are closed from 11 AM to 2 PM for lunch. We are closed Friday and weekends. Please leave a message.

Me: Are you…are you guys hiring?
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) January 2, 2020

#9:

No one:

Me: Which side would Kermit the Frog pick if the Muppets and Sesame Street ever went to war?
— Your Pal Mal (@TheRealPalMal) January 3, 2020

#10:

dumbledore, completely wasted: I should have know you’d be here professor mcgonagall

some random cat:
— ✨V✨ (@coolauntV) January 2, 2020

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