Today is the first Sunday of the new year so let’s relax a little bit. This time we got some sad Happy Meals, an exciting offer for sale and the pure joy of having kids. Are you curious? Have fun!
#1:
me: two happy meals
drive thru: but you’re alone
me: one sad meal
— Funk Doc (@FU_TangClan) January 4, 2020
#2:
Hi it’s actually illegal not to like me if I like you so please act accordingly.
— AlwaysAshley (@AshleyFrankly) January 4, 2020
#3:
[seeing a new mom pushing a baby in a stroller]
Me: GET A JOB!!
Her: ok wow, I literally just had my baby
Me: I WAS TALKING TO THE BABY!!
— Katie Didn't (@Pork_Chop_Hair) January 4, 2020
#4:
[during sex]
*quietly tries to open bag of potato chips*
— MisoSilly (@SeiYoung83) January 4, 2020
#5:
"LOBSTER FOR SALE" pic.twitter.com/jl93yvyMe3
— Best of Nextdoor (@bestofnextdoor) January 4, 2020
#6:
“astrology isn’t real”
literally nothing is real your name is gibberish but you still answer to it bc you crave identity and structure you pathetic fucking featherless biped— areola grande (@meezy_g) January 4, 2020
#7:
I was just quickly and aimlessly tidying up my house, about 5 minutes in I realized that I was carrying around a potato.
I don’t know which room I picked the potato up in, I just know it was not the kitchen.
Kids are fun
— Heather 🦈 doo do doo do doo do doo do (@dishs_up) January 2, 2020
#8:
Husband: Did you eat all the cookies?
Me: I need insulation for the winter.
Husband: We live in Los Angeles.
Me: Well, just in case we go somewhere cold.
— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) January 4, 2020
#9:
The problem with being a giver is takers always find you.
— Emmy Bacon 🇨🇦🌟 (@EmmyStar79) January 5, 2020
#10:
It’s true. pic.twitter.com/8v8ooq69lN
— You Had One Job (@_youhadonejob1) January 5, 2020
