Today we have the full range for you. Who the best soldiers are, what it looks like when a platoon plays Hansel and Gretel, a film review and something to think about. By the way: Did you know that today is Bubble Bath Day? So celebrate this properly, take a bubble bath and enjoy our Daily in a bathtub!
MIL: You have to teach them really young to pick up after themselves
Me: *watching my husband take off his socks and leave them in the middle of the living room*
— Mom On The Rocks (@mom_ontherocks) January 8, 2020
— Professor Snape (@_Snape_) January 8, 2020
Attention: Will the owners of a blue planet with plate tectonics please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) January 7, 2020
apparently a freight train in Minnesota was leaking corn pic.twitter.com/85mWkR8IvI
— Alex «Boreal» Forrest 🚉🌲 (@380kmh) January 6, 2020
At the end of 2020, instead of 30 Under 30 and NextGen lists, please profile middle-aged people who just got their big breaks. I want to read about a mother of 2 who published her first novel, a director who released their first studio feature at 47, THAT'S THE LIST WE WANT.
— Melissa Hunter (@melissaFTW) January 7, 2020
Queer people don't grow up as ourselves, we grow up playing a version of ourselves that sacrifices authenticity to minimise humiliation & prejudice. The massive task of our adult lives is to unpick which parts of ourselves are truly us & which parts we've created to protect us.
— Alexander Leon (@alexand_erleon) January 7, 2020
So I watched Ricky Gervais’ Golden Globes opener.
1. If you’re going to roast people, don’t spend half the roast congratulating yourself for doing it.
2. When you’re a rich comedian with a Netflix deal, you’re not the Radical Truth Teller In A Room Full Of Showbiz Phonies.
— Abe “Bastard Keith” Goldfarb (@AbeGoldfarb) January 6, 2020
me: I need to buy new jeans, these don’t fit anymore
teen son: or you could just eat fewer cookies
So anyway, he’s now available for adoption.
— Just J (@junejuly12) January 8, 2020
When you don't know where your cat is pic.twitter.com/kzjj474uQ9
— Tal Waterhouse (@iiTalW) January 7, 2020
Saw Little Women. Totally misleading title. They stayed normal-sized the whole time. 2 stars.
— The Untastic Mr. Fitz (@UnFitz) January 5, 2020