Twitter is always good for new food for thought. Even today, as a Twitter user shows us. Because how quickly would the world recover from COVID-19 if we had a global competition with prices like pizza parties about who has the lowest infection rates? Otherwise, we’re always so competitive. So…c’mon!
The best way to solve Covid is to turn it into some sort of game where the state with the lowest cases each week gets a pizza party or some shit. This unfortunately would work really well.
— Sam Taggart (@samttaggart) June 29, 2020
one night in 5th grade when my dad came home at the usual time of like 11pm I overheard him say to my mom “I am going to be working until the fucking day I die” so I tried to give my classmate’s dolls makeovers for 25¢ because I didn’t want my parents to worry about money anymore https://t.co/zGknPaEt7K
— sloane (sipihkopiyesis) (@cottoncandaddy) June 30, 2020
my ex-roommate, very rich, used to throw out her bath towels after one use. i brought it up to her, and she asked if it was weird. i said that it “seems symptomatic of exorbitant wealth.” she goes “well, april, it’s not very woke [sic] to pretend to be poor if you’re rich” lmfao
— april (@assignedcowgal) June 29, 2020
Steal his look pic.twitter.com/naGVSjHokW
— grim104 (@grim104) June 29, 2020
My wife is furious that I phoned the police about some kids selling homemade lemonade in the street. Specifically "they're not hurting anyone", "it's not illegal" and "they're our kids"
— Pessimus Prime Minister (@BigJDubz) June 30, 2020
17-year-old Me: Hey I wanna buy this beer
Clerk: No way, this is a fake ID. I’m calling the cops
Me: Oh good idea they’re probably 21
— the drake gatsby (@DrakeGatsby) June 30, 2020
People say white people have no culture but we actually have a long history of taking other people’s culture and making it worse.
— MehGyver (@TheAndrewNadeau) June 30, 2020
1979 horoscope i am fucking begging you to read this pic.twitter.com/ta2k3FbQvu
— wendy (@friends3000) June 30, 2020
u become king of england if u pull a sword from a stone. that should be how power transfers elsewhere. pull a baguette from an oven to become king of france. pull a bottle of vodka from a frozen river to become king of russia. pull a gun from a mayo jar to become king of the u.s.
— the hype (@TheHyyyype) June 29, 2020
Meet North’s Freesian horse. We have 14 gorgeous Freesians on the ranch. pic.twitter.com/E7N49kTCHG
— n (@auntanxiety) June 30, 2020