So it’s Thursday and we all know what that means. Only one more day in the corporate coal mines until weekend! Finally the annoying coworkers are gone for two days, replaced by the annoying neighbours or, if you’re really lucky, with annoying extended family as well. What better way to relax than explaining your racist uncle why he’s unemployed for years now (hint, it’s not because of the Chinese) or listening to that one aunt lamenting about «Big Pharma» while she swears by yoga to cure her eyesight. Did you know there were cultures, where older people got sent into the jungle once they couldn’t provide for themselves anymore? And don’t you wish you would live around a jungle, at least sometimes? But that’s just a coincidence. What isn’t a coincidence are our gems, we didn’t find them in a tropical forest, but close enough. Enjoy!
me: do you have any books on ducks?
librarian: no, they'd fall off
— john (@mrjohndarby) June 30, 2021
I'm not saying I'm jealous of the peacock spider, but I would like my partner to fear for his life if his dance moves don't please me.
— CynicalTherapist (@CynicalTherapi1) July 1, 2021
Why would you expect them to prepare for that pic.twitter.com/8AFJ9EE0ln
— keewa (@keewa) June 30, 2021
RIP Donald Rumsfled, who gave his life to help balance out the Cosby news
— Wenzler Powers (@WenzlerPowers) June 30, 2021
"free your mind" buddy I'd help it escape if I could
— Adam Cerious (@Browtweaten) June 30, 2021
Drugs won. the end.
-From my forthcoming book, “The War on Drugs: A Brief History”
— NurseBrianRN (@rn_murse) June 30, 2021
[at the zoo]
me: can we stop to feed the penguins?
zookeeper: ok then we need to find your kid
— slate (@PleaseBeGneiss) June 30, 2021
I got my second vaxx in my mermaid tattoo because my arm might swell and that bitch should know what it feels like to get chubby.
— Lovely Potatoes (@robin_991) June 30, 2021
Me at 15: who wouldn't want immortality, I want to live forever!
Me at 35: oh
— Village Person (@SvnSxty) June 29, 2021
i always feel bad for the neglected houseplants in the background of porn.
— MΦrρhιηε✮Drεαɱzz™ (@MorphineDreamzz) July 1, 2021