It’s Friday, so please gather around and let’s have a look at this week. In China the first cases of the bubonic pest have been discovered, scientist found a half plant/half spider thing that eats flesh and the president of Brazil spreads the coronavirus on purpose. All in all 2020 is still the gift that keeps on giving. On the bright side, here’s our daily. Enjoy!
#1:
please don’t take away birth control the last thing the world needs is more americans
— Sarah Beattie (@nachosarah) July 8, 2020
#2:
unfortunately we will not cover the medicine that keeps you from throwing up from pain every month. but we have a good reason! a lady ate an apple in our favorite book
— Sarah Lazarus (@sarahclazarus) July 9, 2020
#3:
economy is fr just astrology for straight men. they get so moody cause the NASDAQ is in retrograde
— mercury ☿ (@sodomystan) July 7, 2020
#4:
me: there were two controllers
firefighter holding my xbox: im not going back in— brent (@murrman5) July 9, 2020
#5:
Librarian: I’m going to ask you one more time to please keep your voice down
Me: THERES A BULLET IN MY LEG
Librarian: (reloading) i said please
— eli 👖🎷👖 (@jazz_inmypants) July 10, 2020
#6:
My kids just asked Alexa the same question 40 times in a row and I'm pretty sure I heard a sigh before the 36th answer.
— Twin Dad (@TwinSurvivalist) July 9, 2020
#7:
dad: wake up! the early bird catches the worm
me [rolling over] the late worm avoids the bird
— *sigh*clops (@aotakeo) July 9, 2020
#8:
I wonder what Keith Richards will do to pass the time when everyone is dead and he's the last living thing on earth.
— 1.21 Rickawatts (@notsoevilrick) July 9, 2020
#9:
Me trying to enjoy anything in 2020 pic.twitter.com/9ApYi0EsEG
— Cesspool (@of_a_genepool) July 8, 2020
#10:
Due to Covid-19 I will not shake hands or hug anymore, You may either Kneel or Bow to me
— Heaven (@HeavenSentMel) July 8, 2020
