It’s Saturday, arguably the best day of the week. Lazy time just started, there’s still Sunday as a backup if things go really wrong and you HAVE to communicate with people or worse, leave the house, and putting on real clothes is more of an option than a realistic achievement. It’s like the first day on the Titanic, everyone’s in a good mood and having the time of their life. Sunday is more like the day when the captain already sees the iceberg, but it’s still far away and hey, how bad can it get? There’s still time to adapt. And then there’s Monday, when shit hits the fan or in this case, the iceberg and the band starts playing. A lot of screaming is going on. NO, let’s not think about it. We just boarded the ship and while your cabin is being prepared, why not use the time to read something nice and relaxing? Our gems for example. Please enjoy the cruise!
ANTI-VAXXERS: we refuse to get vaccinated and you can't make us
ME: fine, go ahead and get COVID-19
A: oh, so you want us to die, where is your compassion
— born miserable (@bornmiserable) July 10, 2021
ok maybe one diggity
— john (@mrjohndarby) July 8, 2021
me. scrolling to my birth year like… pic.twitter.com/qzSls5pvk6
— NurseBrianRN (@rn_murse) July 9, 2021
People laugh at the idea that someone earning 500K a year is middle class, but as you move up, you have more expenses. It's no longer just about food and shelter, it's about staging mock sea battles on your man-made lake for 20,000 guests to win the favor of the Tsar.
— Sandra Newman (@sannewman) July 9, 2021
am i allowed to say that fish are dumb or will pple say it's some sort of animal hate speech i have been struggling with this for months
— wint but Al (@dril_gpt2) July 9, 2021
there is no situation more panic-inducing than when excel asks if you want to save your changes but you don't remember making any
— the hype (@TheHyyyype) July 9, 2021
I want to earn my money the old fashioned way, by living in silicon valley in 2016 and saying the phrase "it's Uber but for-"
— Ron Iver (@ronnui_) July 9, 2021
A podcast where parents try to explain what their adult children do for a living
— Arielle Nissenblatt (sounds like 'this and that') (@arithisandthat) July 9, 2021
i can’t date a harry potter adult. imagine having the hardest day of your life and you gotta go home to somebody that’s gonna try to console you with a dumbledore quote.
— 𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗲𝗯 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗼𝗻 (@calebsaysthings) July 10, 2021
Pro tip: If people assume you’re shy when you don’t want to speak with them, let them.
— Boyd's Backyard™ (@TheBoydP) July 6, 2021