Hello and good evening everyone! As we mentioned yesterday, Sundays have the strangest vibes or to stay in our Titanic metaphor: Our bellies are still full with hand-fed baby-shrimps and we just enjoyed the most amazing show of dancing monkeys on tiny skateboards. But there is also this slightly unsettling cold breeze and on the afternoon tour with the dogs on the deck of the Third Class we saw the little lifeboats and tried to remember how to calculate (remember it’s 1912 and we aren’t glued to smartphones yet). But it was a little foggy and we didn’t get to talk to the captain who surely knows what he’s doing as we were told he’s coming from a great family – in fact he was chatting with this bald gentleman from the employers› association who kept talking about sick leave… What? Well, somehow we just lost the thread. Oh, whatever, Titanic, work-life balance, pandemic, climate change, we’re sure it’ll all turn out well in the end, right? Just like our Tweets of the day. Enjoy!
Sex is great but have you tried taking a shower after a week of camping?
— Average Dad (@Average_Dad1) July 10, 2021
I found out I was allergic to latex in the worst way possible and yes it’s exactly what you think
— Sliz (@slizagna) July 10, 2021
This child at the airport is killing me pic.twitter.com/axacS0ElXK
— groucho marxist (@amymarieberger) July 10, 2021
I remember one time this guy was like «your shirt makes you look like a lesbian» and I was like «I don’t mind if I look like a lesbian,» and he and his wife didn’t say anything but no joke after they divorced I dated his wife for about a year.
— The Bitter Tweets of Sara Von Century (@saracentury) July 9, 2021
Me, flirting😏 pic.twitter.com/6tH49LSIpY
— just♡B (@justmebritlea) July 10, 2021
It’s incredible how «if we meet people’s basic needs, they’ll stop working» and «billionaires are hard workers» coexist in people’s minds.
— Rabbit Cohen (@BathysphereHat) July 9, 2021
THE TIREDNESS ON THE COUCH NEVER TRANSLATES TO THE BED AND I DEMAND TO KNOW WHY
— Danielle Sepulverizer (@ellesep) July 9, 2021
Nearly had a heart attack. pic.twitter.com/TjDoQ6a0oU
— ♛ (@Okomo_xi) July 7, 2021
Denmark doesn’t fuck around pic.twitter.com/z6zELFj8CQ
— Jon (@ormondroyd) July 9, 2021
“mental illness,” or, as your father calls it, “a weird mood huh”
— meredith (@dietz_meredith) July 8, 2021