Today in our sunny Saturday edition we got old gifts for Troja, cute (in a way) kangaroos, classic literature and, fasten your seatbelts, BABY GOATS. If that’s not convincing I don’t know what is. Stay at home. Have a frozen margarita. Enjoy our daily!
Excuse me sir! This is my irritable and kicky social distancing kangaroo, so back off, or feel the wrath of Sir Kicksalot.
— mᎥᏦᎬ ᏞᎥᏆᎬᏒᎪᏞᏞᎽ✪ (@SkippyMcGizzard) July 17, 2020
Wow this huge wooden horse is great!
⭐️ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Ok what the fuck
— suki (@desukidesu) July 17, 2020
my daughter just asked me how a microwave works and the only answer i had was magic
— Crockett🍀 (@CrockettForReal) July 17, 2020
school board: it’s completely safe for kids to go back to school
teachers: so you met in person to discuss this
school board: lmao what are you nuts of course not
— Laurazepam (@andlikelaura) July 17, 2020
trying to relate to boys that play video games like hey babe how was pretending to brutally murder people today? did you *checks notes* call the duty?
— bonnie, antifa CFO (@notskanky) July 17, 2020
dr frankenstein: it’s alive!
igor: great! what should we name him
dr frankenstein: uh we won’t
igor: idk might lead to some confusion
dr frankenstein: it will literally never come up
— the hype (@TheHyyyype) July 17, 2020
I didn't realize you could buy baby goats at Home Depotpic.twitter.com/6n1rz4C3wO
— Roxi Horror 💀🌸 (@roxiqt) July 17, 2020
dear bees. i am already afraid of u. u do not need to fly 2 inches from my ear like “why u flinching. little bitch.” are u trying to intimidate me because it’s working
— tatum (@50FirstTates) July 17, 2020
Even Bob Ross would be like “let’s paint some happy little trees and set them on fire” right now.
— Troy Johnson (@_troyjohnson) July 17, 2020
jurassic park: now safer than disney land
— nash™ (@itsnashflynn) July 15, 2020