Sit down, grab a beer or a glass of wine, get some snacks, we’ve got Sunday’s Daily for you!
#1:
Bad news: my period is 9 days late. Good news: the last dude I fucked was an NFL player
— jax dell’osso (@jaxdellosso) July 18, 2020
#2:
4-year-old: Can I have a pen? I won't draw on any walls.
Me: Okay. Do you want some paper?
4: No.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 18, 2020
#3:
If you want to know who serves the best fries ask your vegetarian friend bc that's all we order at 50% of all restaurants
— Ron Iver (@ronnui_) July 18, 2020
#4:
he keeps texting me saying “busy with COD” what does this fish have that i don’t
— neeza (@vinniejpeg) July 18, 2020
#5:
this wins pic.twitter.com/RRT6bwUMAG
— yoyoha (@yoyoha) July 17, 2020
#6:
hate asking for directions. "go 1 block west." what is a block. what is west. i know left and right thats it. u might as well have told me to go fuck myself
— thomas (@thombodytolove) July 18, 2020
#7:
[before sex]
her: ur so hard
my grandpa bursting into the room: u wanna know what was hard
me: not now grandpa
grandpa: the war
— cory (@harvardgraduat) July 18, 2020
#8:
Loving someone is different from being in love with someone.
— Shower Thoughts (@TheWeirdWorld) July 18, 2020
#9:
At 15 her eyesight isn’t great so she needs a little sniff before she recognises me. 🙂 pic.twitter.com/9tRuexuJyj
— The Jase 🐶 🎸 🎥 (@jasemonkey) July 17, 2020
#10:
If you ever need a reason to not get into a comment-section debate, remember this as proof that it’s almost certainly a waste of time: pic.twitter.com/moZwJc5v4a
— K. William Huitt (@kwilliamhuitt) July 16, 2020
