In case you were just about to google the early symptoms of a heart attack after you’ve noticed that slight tremor in your fingers, you can stop now. It is neither a heart attack (at least unlikely) nor withdrawal symptoms (well …) but the hormone cocktail that can only mean one thing: the weekend is here. Yes, party people, time to get ex-ci-ted! Finally you can do all the great things you don’t have time for during the week. Like … cleaning the toilet or taking out the trash while the rest of the family, the dog, the roommate or whoever … well, have you ever heard of Sisyphus? Anyway, don’t despair, as usual we offer you a little bit of distraction, today with Schrödinger’s coffee, wisdom from Rome, and dogs who are up to no good. Happy weekend with the best Tweets of the day!
Alabama doctor says this about her Covid patients, some of whom are dying: “One of the last things they do before they’re intubated is beg me for the vaccine. I hold their hand and tell them that I’m sorry, but it’s too late.” https://t.co/WEgAhHW2hf
— Joyce Alene (@JoyceWhiteVance) July 21, 2021
when i say “i should be there in 5!” i’m almost always using the moral sense of the word ‘should’, not the like probability sense. like yeah being there in 5 minutes would be the right thing, even though it’s not going to happen
— charlie (@chunkbardey) July 21, 2021
life is just alternating between telling people “sorry im being weird i had too much coffee” and “sorry im being weird i haven’t had enough coffee” forever until you die
— Dana Donnelly (@danadonly) July 22, 2021
My dad’s two dogs expelled from dog daycare due to forming a “dog gang”
— Sophie Haigney (@SophieHaigney) July 22, 2021
Cleaning your house before going on vacation and coming home to a tidy home is top tier
— muva goat 🐐 (@TheNotoriousKIA) July 21, 2021
you have to respect one of my clients, based in Italy, who upon receiving an email from me yesterday responded with «Katy, today in Rome it’s a day for living on the beach» and ignored all of my questions x
— katy 🌙 (@KatyGilroyBlog) July 21, 2021
My husband has just had a pay rise, which is lovely, but I can’t help notice that in the last 10 years, his salary has increased 87%, while mine has increased by 18%
I’ve spent most of that time working on curing cancer. He’s been calculating your car insurance.
— Dr Angharad Watson (@AngharadWatson) July 21, 2021
Told my landlord we had ants and he said “We cannot kill them. We can not outsmart them. They have been here longer than us. They will find a way.”
— Grace Freud (@GraceGFreud) July 22, 2021
You know you’ve mastered marriage when you ask your spouse to hand you “that thingy” over there and they know exactly what that means.
— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) July 22, 2021
This dog 🥺 pic.twitter.com/RnLxwIrZTj
— Marvin Gay (@Queen_Finxa) July 21, 2021