Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of «it’s finally Saturday, what could possibly go wrong?». To your left you see singles talking awkwardly to other singles, beating around the bush wether they like each other or not until the first one is frustrated and leaves. Always a fun game to play. On your right there’s the happy family, mom has already had the first glass of wine, dad is in the bathroom looking at OF pages to see if he recognizes a neighbour, while the kids are destroying the living room. Please make sure to decide if you want to see «being alone in a big city forever» or «divorce and how much it costs, not only moneywise» as your next episode, there’s a package deal to get both. Meanwhile here are some gems from the most depressing but also funniest social media platform in existence, right after Tumblr. Yes, this is possible. Enjoy!
You deserve a "they insist you take the last slice of pizza" type of love.
— ↁavid Adt ✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿 (@DavidAdt1) July 23, 2021
“Are you ok?”
My body’s check engine light has been on since I was 14 please don’t ask me that
— one giant size shit bitch bear (@idontclairee_) July 19, 2021
Do people that walk slow know I’m thinking about fighting them?
— bap🔱 (@sh0w3d) July 20, 2021
i don’t struggle with anxiety it comes very naturally
— Roy🌾 (@Roy_oh_Roy) July 23, 2021
twitter dislike button is the worst idea ever cause imagine u post a selfie and someone dislikes.. i would become the joker
— Sun 🐈 (@iHugGirls) July 21, 2021
"why did you block me?" because i like to have a nice time on the internet and it isn't much deeper than that
— lacey (@byelacey) July 22, 2021
Wild how there’s a whole genre of movie that is basically “This MAN 😂😂 is taking care of CHILDREN 🤣🤣”
— Blast Zone: Movies That Bombed (@BlastZonePod) July 23, 2021
I am a REAL MAN who drives a TRUCK and drinks LITE BEER and hates MY WIFE. I eat HAMBURGERS and HOTDOGS and have early-onset HEART DISEASE. I don't like SNOWFLAKES who whine about EVERYTHING. If you say mean stuff about THE FLAG or GUNS I will have a NERVOUS BREAKDOWN.
— the hype (@TheHyyyype) July 22, 2021
The Little Mermaid led me to believe that as a ginger my adult life would be much more exciting. I'm middle management, Ariel. Where is my song for this?
— McErin☘ (@colleen_eileen) July 23, 2021
waiter: what'll it be?
pig: *adjusting his bowtie* truffles
— john (@mrjohndarby) July 21, 2021