Every week on Sunday evening we meet up here to play a game of «whose life sucks the most». Is it competitor A who prepares for another week of carrot hunting in the office knowing that the carrot will be rotten by the time their bosses are about to step into a giant penis and fly to space? Or are you all in for competitor B who stays at home with the children and ask themselves for the next 5 days to 20 years what sense it makes to give up regular payments and social recognition in order to bring up a new generation of workforce. Or do you vote for competitor C who has neither job nor family and therefore lives in that fun twilight zone of social jealousy and social despise? Granted, it’s a game that doesn’t produce many winners but isn’t it great fun playing? Fortunately this question is against the rules so let’s all enjoy the best Tweets of the day instead! Have a nice week everyone!
Got a CV today and the guy literally listed one of his skills as ‘googling’
We’re interviewing him
— Cat McGee (@CatMcGeeCode) July 23, 2021
When the first couple of seasons of Walking Dead aired, I used to complain that the show never explained how the population got so tiny. Now I know it was because 100 million dumbasses walked right up to the zombies yelling, «I refuse to live my life in fear!»
— Mark Harris (@MarkHarrisNYC) July 23, 2021
I feel like we could prevent a lot of car accidents by inventing some kind of blinking light that signals to other drivers what direction you’re about to turn
— Zack Bornstein (@ZackBornstein) July 23, 2021
If you have a cat, does it think you are its mom, its friend, or the government?
— Alison Leiby (@AlisonLeiby) July 23, 2021
— True, I Guess… (@tchncllytru) July 23, 2021
I’m more likely to say hi to a strange dog than a strange human.
— Shower Thoughts (@TheWeirdWorld) July 24, 2021
i got botox and i asked the dr “how many years younger will this make me look?” and he was like “zero. you’ll just look like the other girls your age who have also gotten botox.”
— dana bad (@baddanadanabad) July 23, 2021
The three genders pic.twitter.com/ju2YinGaXY
— the effexorcist (@kahtrinuh) July 22, 2021
What if UFOs are just billionaires from other planets?
— 𝙏𝙤𝙢 𝙃𝙞𝙘𝙠𝙨 (@tlhicks713) July 24, 2021
I had sex for 3 hours last night. We roll played as doctor and patient. I was in the waiting room for 2 hours and 57 minutes.
— Oma (@Used_to_be_64) July 24, 2021
You prefer reading about sex to actually having sex? Then this might be fun to you: