The first rule of Monday Club is:
You do not talk about Monday.
The second rule of Monday Club is:
You do not talk about Monday.
Third rule of Monday Club:
If someone laughs, touches your shoulder and says «How was your weekend?», or yells «Niiice to see you again», «What a great day!», you are allowed to slap him, steal his car, drive to his house, eat everything in his fridge and maybe sleep with his husband or wife. Because her or his partner is truly punished enough and deserves some joy.
Fourth rule of Monday Club:
Relax and read our tweet selection for today!
#1:
it smells like oran-
the person behind me: pic.twitter.com/ul64ZTlRNR
— Huh-Beeb⛔️ (@hvbeeeb) July 25, 2020
#2:
suicide prevention isn’t just posting the suicide hotline. healthcare is suicide prevention. housing is suicide prevention. food security is suicide prevention. access to mental health care is suicide prevention.
— H. Styles (@_QueenHeyonce_) July 24, 2020
#3:
Waking up 3 mins before I have to login from home pic.twitter.com/xYeeChTUlr
— AGAR and 99 others (@utterly_black) July 23, 2020
#4:
why does my kettle look like mike wazowski pic.twitter.com/CssNMXSJgL
— AM 🎭 (@reIagz) July 22, 2020
#5:
I've got no time for UFOs. Either identify the object or fuck off
— wife radicalized by STEM (@gloomfather) July 24, 2020
#6:
welcome to usa, if you go to work you die, if you don't go to work you die, we're getting rid of books and mail, if you complain about it you get put in the van
— simple garak (@sashageffen) July 24, 2020
#7:
No comedian will ever be as funny as my co worker who is from Haiti who saw a comedy show a few years ago and was so confused bc “no one tells jokes, everyone just talks about having sex and being fat”
— sighorny beaver (@merrydevo) July 25, 2020
#8:
the year is 2019, you're deciding what to wear to go to the bar with your friends. you hop in a lyft, no masks in sight. purell? never heard of her. you hug a friend and drink a vodka soda from a glass that someone hands to you. everyone's touching their face. life is good
— Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) July 25, 2020
#9:
Since the 2016 Election, the #1 new activity for historical figures is: "Spinning In Their Graves." pic.twitter.com/9nqdwIBm6v
— Mark Hamill (@HamillHimself) July 26, 2020
#10:
interviewer: do you have any questions
me: yes, why isn't bigfoot called bigfeet
interviewer: i meant questions about working here
me: oh sorry, if bigfoot worked here would you call him bigfeet
— Terry F (@daemonic3) July 25, 2020
