It’s finally Saturday. The day we aspired to reach, the moment we longed for, the reason to live. Too much? Yeah, we thought so as well. So let’s be honest, as much as we need a break sometimes, we should never forget that it’s just a brief break, an opportunity to break bad for once, a time to bounce back and break bread with your fellow victims of the 5 day work week. Too many alliterations? Perhaps binging a few seasons of Gilmore Girls combined with good wine(s) wasn’t exactly the perfect way to start into the night yesterday, just perhaps. So before this gets totally out of control, of course we were gathering glorious gems (DAMN IT WE CAN’T STOP) again, just for you folks. Please enjoy the wonderful work we willfully (okay, we’ll stop now, promised) worded and maybe rewatch Gilmore Girls after that? It changes you. Without further delay, here are the Tweets of the day. Cheers!
Overheard: “The irony of antivaxers saying they don’t want to be part of an experiment without realizing they are now the control group."
— George Takei (@GeorgeTakei) July 29, 2021
A gold medal for skateboarding?? What"s next a freaking Nobel Prize for loitering behind the Dairy Queen and scaring me???
— Brooks Otterlake (@i_zzzzzz) July 26, 2021
Making food expensive with edible gold is lazy and hack. Make a burger from a prize racehorse and serve it wrapped in a Picasso, you cowards https://t.co/WNZISweOPB
— pixelatedboat aka “mr tweets” (@pixelatedboat) July 28, 2021
No Letterboxd review can touch the time my grandmother told me she didn’t like Titanic because it featured (direct quote) “too much sliding.”
— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) July 25, 2021
inventor of the usb: this will allow you to connect many different devices
assistant: cool, so you can just easily plug it into stuff?
inventor: [eyes narrow] no
— the hype (@TheHyyyype) July 30, 2021
Friend: I think you have a problem with overusing contractions.
Me: It’s what it’s.
— sleepy jo (@jojipaints) July 30, 2021
I hope this email finds you sunbathing on a rock. I hope a witch has turned you into a lizard. I hope your naps are long and untroubled.
— Owl! at the Library 😴🧙♀️ (@SketchesbyBoze) July 30, 2021
I've been expecting you Mr. Bond *I turn my revolving chair to face him but keep spinning and end up facing the wall again*
— ᴛʜᴇ 13ᴛʜ ᴅɪꜱᴄɪᴘʟᴇ (@unsanctifi3d) July 30, 2021
girl at wedding: I’d love to dance just let me go to the bathroom first
me who only knows the chicken dance: it has to be now
— brent (@murrman5) July 30, 2021
I'm a 37 year old divorced woman I don't flirt I just tell men I make a mean meatloaf
— McErin☘ (@colleen_eileen) June 28, 2021