Twitter is, more often than less, like deep diving into an ocean: You always discover something new. Sometimes it’s just interesting, sometimes it’s a little gem nobody knew about. Sometimes you’re disgusted by sight and can’t get away fast enough. But that’s why we’re here, basically little seahorses with a strong stomach and a mission. That’s what we found today. Enjoy!
me listening to my own advice pic.twitter.com/pDVbvz9paw
— ⚠️cam⚠️ (@climaxximus) July 3, 2020
Starting to realize that Elon Musk is a megachurch pastor for atheists
— Ken Klippenstein (@kenklippenstein) July 3, 2020
“iF yOu dOn’T LiKe iT mOve To aNoTheR cOuNtRy” we literally can’t because you won’t wear a mask
— Shenanigans (@Shenanigans_luv) July 2, 2020
doctor: we had to remove your appendix
JRR Tolkien: but that's where I explain why elves hate dwarves
— Christopher Ashman (@CAshmanActor) July 3, 2020
me: I’m too high man you drive
my cat: alright gimme the keys
— tom (@pilau) July 2, 2020
I didn't know about mascara, I thought girls just cried ink like squids.
— Dapperilla (@Gorilla_Turd) July 3, 2020
why these christian mfs think god hates us LGBTs- he ain't got an archangel named straightbriel
— Glenn (@Shenaniglenns) July 3, 2020
"i wish things would go back to normal" ah the good old days when things were terrible but not for you
— james (@heybuddy_comic) July 3, 2020
You can have an edit button when everyone wears a mask
— Twitter (@Twitter) July 2, 2020
Normal Beer: This is a beer.
Craft Beer: 𝟛 𝕓𝕣𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕤 𝕙𝕒𝕕 𝕒𝕟 𝕚𝕕𝕖𝕒. 𝕋𝕙𝕖𝕪 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕕 𝕥𝕠 𝕔𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕥𝕖 𝕒 𝕓𝕖𝕖𝕣 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕨𝕒𝕤 𝕤𝕠 𝕗𝕦𝕝𝕝 𝕠𝕗 𝕙𝕠𝕡𝕤 𝕚𝕥 𝕨𝕒𝕤 𝕥𝕖𝕔𝕙𝕟𝕚𝕔𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕪 𝕛𝕦𝕤𝕥 𝕨𝕖𝕥 𝕙𝕠𝕡𝕤. 𝕋𝕙𝕖𝕟 𝟡/𝟙𝟙 𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕡𝕖𝕟𝕖𝕕…
— Keaton Patti (@KeatonPatti) July 2, 2020