Today we have a completely new concept for a dating app and a tweet from God himself. We also explain the difference between a machine and a machine. Have a lot of fun with today’s Daily!
Kinda surreal when the President starts accusing your 75 yr old friend of being an agent of ANTIFA.
My friend Martin Gugino is an old man with cancer who is now in the hospital with brain damage after being pushed to the ground by a police officer he was trying to talk to.
— keithgiles (@keithgiles) June 9, 2020
A dating app where you watch a comedy video and you match with people based on which part of the video you laughed at most. This is either brilliant or evidence that I only got 2 hours of sleep last night
— Sarah Cooper (@sarahcpr) June 10, 2020
If we banned domestic abusers from possessing firearms, about 40% of cops would no longer be allowed to carry a gun.
— Joshua 4 Congress (@Joshua4Congress) June 8, 2020
middle siblings have more de-escalation training than cops do
— Pallavi (@PallaviGunalan) June 9, 2020
I'm trying to send the zombie apocalypse but the zombies say they'd rather starve.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) June 9, 2020
an election where people are waiting for 7 or 8 hours to cast a ballot is not a free and fair election
— b-boy bouiebaisse (@jbouie) June 9, 2020
white people will be like “dont wear thrasher if you don’t skate” but don’t understand why they can’t say the n word
— ginger goblin (@cosmicvag) June 8, 2020
old white dudes love listening to bands like rage against the machine for years and then getting mad as hell that “the machine” means a racist government and not the new iPhone they don’t know how to use
— first-mate prance (@bocxtop) June 9, 2020
I miss college, when you'd meet a group of roommates and they'd be like WE'RE BEST FRIENDS FOR LIFE!!! And then one named Jen would leave to use the bathroom and the others would be like "btw, we fucking hate Jen."
— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) June 10, 2020
This is the best thing I’ve seen in weeks pic.twitter.com/DYlOgdEQgH
— bhasy (@notallbhas) June 9, 2020