It’s Saturday and while normal ™ people are enjoying some quality time in parks or with their loved ones, we are once again on the back of our favorite raccoon, riding towards the wild depths of the weirdest social media channel out there: Twitter. From the pastel painted hell of motivational Twitter, through the #im16andthisisdeep phase of woke Twitter, to our favorite place, mentally unstable but funny Twitter. Armed with enough cocktails to sedate a small african army, we’re picking up the gems from every place, always risking our beloved liver and what’s left of our mental health. It’s a dirty job, but someone has to do it. In this spirit, enjoy!
#1:
Made my ex husband give me a tour of his new house and then texted him a list of everything I saw that’s mine that I want back.
— AlwaysAshley (@AshleyAlready) June 10, 2021
#2:
The best thing about the internet is that you can claim credit for things you had no part in. It’s one of the reasons I invented it
— Dr Pessimus Prime – I invented the Internet (@BigJDubz) June 10, 2021
#3:
— 🐔 Brian Bucklew 🐔 ₑͤ＞∿＜ₑͤ ∞🌮 (@unormal) June 9, 2021
#4:
queen of accidentally screenshotting my home screen five times a day
— kelleywelchy (@kelleyannwelch) June 11, 2021
#5:
I dated a guy who was really into watches but never on time. That’s a bracelet my dude
— jenny⚡️cavallero (@jennycavallero) June 7, 2021
#6:
if you like vodka and tomato juice so much then why don’t you bloody mary it
— FRO VO (@fro_vo) June 10, 2021
#7:
just occurred to me how funny it is that the Air Force wears camouflage. We don’t need to worry about that fighter jet guys, the pilot is a Tree
— this guy again????? (@jazz_inmypants) June 11, 2021
#8:
my poor parents bought me a pride balloon for my graduation because they thought it meant they were proud of me 😭 pic.twitter.com/FeusU7qw6a
— Fatima (@fatimaxsr) June 9, 2021
#9:
If you RT motivational tweets I will unfollow, I came to the sewer to be with the rats
— stoned cold fox (@roastmalone_) June 8, 2021
#10:
thinking of making a letterboxd list where i rank hugh jackman movies on a scale of “hot” to “hair is way too out of control”
— Sammie Purcell (@sammie_purcell8) June 11, 2021
