Today we have Jerry Seinfeld meeting beautiful lesbians meeting Hemingway meeting «War of the Worlds» meeting classic drinks. So it’s a mix even Lovecraft would be proud of and if THAT’S not enough namedropping, I really can’t help you. Please enjoy the ride.
jerry seinfeld: what's the deal with airline food?!
young people today: these flight attendants are trying their best SIR. sorry it's not a 3-michelin-star gourmet feast you rich entitled prick
— the hype (@TheHyyyype) June 19, 2020
being a woman on the internet is cool because you’ll tweet “had a good day today” and some guy with 56 numbers in his username will reply with “wow, super unoriginal. i would fuck you but you’re an ugly skank. my wife left me and flushed our beta fish down the applebee’s toilet.”
— colleen (@Coll3enG) June 19, 2020
What if you died and instead of going to hell God just sent you to a TikTok house
— Cryptic (@CrypticNoOne) June 19, 2020
Normalize pulling on a book opening a secret passageway & never being seen again.
— Doth (@DothTheDoth) June 19, 2020
as a korean man "of color" i often face discrimination e.g. sometimes being mistaken for a beautiful lesbian
— I am just normal Korean (@hxc_clam) June 18, 2020
An app that makes another martini so you don’t have to get out of the fetal position on the floor. We have the technology.
— Mal (@TheRealPalMal) June 18, 2020
alien: we have come to destroy all humanity
me: hell yeah
alien: what? I said we have co-
me: hurry up
— tom (@pilau) June 16, 2020
What makes you think you can make me happy? You're not coffee and quiet.
— Divergent Mama (@Divergentmama) June 19, 2020
they should do something about the guy on the pringles cans too tbh. not a racial thing i just don’t like his energy.
— Alexis “Bring Back Bunheads” Wilson (@sassyblackdiva) June 17, 2020
Boss: *sets piece of paper in my casket* I hope this email finds you well
— Rob Actually 🏳️🌈 (@RobbyActually) June 19, 2020