Yep, it’s official. The weekend is over and slowly but inexorably the day lurches in a steep downward spiral towards another ride in the good old «alarm clock-labor-dinner-netflix» carousel. Time to accept that once again we didn’t use the weekend to do our chores or go to Australia or have a nice little chat with the next hammer shark as suggested in yesterday’s issue. But hey, if you’re feeling a little down now just wait for the usual Monday depression to hit. Or you do the only thing that has the power to cheer you up, exactly, enjoy the best Tweets from today. Have fun and stay away from sharks!
say getthefuckawayfromme without saying it pic.twitter.com/DQwWfCBUpw
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) June 19, 2021
“It can’t hurt to apply!” Yes it can. Constant rejection hurts. Spending hours on a cover letter & getting zero response hurts. Putting yourself out there in the hopes that someone will give you a chance is really taxing. Let’s stop pretending it isn’t.
— Natalie Wallington (@narwhallington) June 18, 2021
Instead of continually saying «password incorrect» why can’t my computer say «getting hotter» or «getting colder»?
— Uncle Jeff (@PickleRudd) June 19, 2021
My toddler, like many, calls every man she sees walking around a “dada”. Today she pointed at a man in target and said “dada”. The way this man freaked out 😭 “no no not possible”, he turns to his wife to say. The toddler def exposed him somehow
— Kaitlyn Greenidge (@surlybassey) June 19, 2021
Bf made my grad dress :’-) pic.twitter.com/TF5ZaxGz42
— gnat (@9eena) June 15, 2021
My dad invited his friend Barry over (via text) on his day off. Turned out he invited the wrong Barry. Currently the wrong Barry is here, whilst everybody else is doing their best to pretend he isn’t the wrong Barry and I’m silently shrieking
— Elsa Williams (@elsalwilliams) June 17, 2021
periods should last only 15 mins. like thanks for letting me know im not pregnant, now you can leave the doors that way.
— ًtata mic (@itstatamic) June 17, 2021
What an interesting coinkidink pic.twitter.com/wUoAooSZyu
— clarabstract 💫 \b((s)|(t))he(?(3)y\b|\b) (@clarabstract) June 17, 2021
I am yet again asking the olympics to simply let a regular non athlete person do the event first so I can understand how good these people are
— kelsey mckinney (@mckinneykelsey) June 19, 2021
For all the «I’m living my best life» lads.
The bar has been raised by this fella pic.twitter.com/AjdhwpVkfs
— Jim (@Barcajim3) June 17, 2021