Has everyone survived the infamous Monday? No losses? Great, we’re in this timeline (no pun intended*) together, no one is getting away that easy. Except for Republicans in Tulsa/Oklahoma, as Trump learned the hard way. So enjoy our daily!
*that was a lie, there was so much pun intended.
I feel like autocorrect is that kid in class who very confidently yells out wrong answers
— Crockett🍀 (@CrockettForReal) June 22, 2020
If you cut off the string and tag from a teabag and stick it just inside a coffee mug, so it dangles over the outside and looks like there's tea in there, you can fill the mug with gin and avoid judgement from your family.
— Bryony Burrell (@lifeofbryony) June 20, 2020
Saying "shark-infested waters" is like saying "human-infested houses." I mean they live there man that's just rude
— Melvin of York (@MelvinofYork) June 22, 2020
sex is a very intimate and sacred act. remember, your body is a temple and you shouldn't be sharing it with anyone who hasn't watched Shrek 2
— 🦓 Jack of all Bos, Master of Horse 🌊 (@TommyRainmaker) June 22, 2020
"Don't stop believin'," I whisper-sing to myself as I try to get a chunk of donut out of my hair.
— JC Tarp (@jctwritesstuff) June 22, 2020
this is actually my dream https://t.co/8vt0zGwnAW
— stephen (@stephenossola) June 22, 2020
Jeff Bezos has decided he will not end world hunger today.
— Has Jeff Bezos Decided To End World Hunger? (@HasBezosDecided) June 21, 2020
[dirty talking] ur a little sex haver aren't u
— thomas (@thombodytolove) June 23, 2020
My 5yo called an emu a "duckdeer" and now no one is allowed to call it an emu ever again. DUCKDEER
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) June 22, 2020
It’s really hitting right now me how many people have fucking died of COVID, of lack of healthcare, of violence, of racism, and on and on because we’ve managed to make “giving a shit about other people” a political question
— yc (@yc) June 22, 2020