What is the best excuse not to appear in a Zoom Call with the boss in the morning? What is the difference between Trailer Parks and Tiny Houses? And what makes children so annoying? Find out in today’s Daily!
Before we all die from a pandemic virus can we get a little alien invasion, as a treat.
— Doth (@DothTheDoth) June 23, 2020
During quarantine I’ve been watching a lot of tiny house videos and it’s so wild that people living in trailer parks are treated like shit and white people living in literal shipping trailers are seen as brilliant. You live in a trailer Diane. I wish we didn’t hate poor people.
— Shantira Jackson (@tira_tira_tira) June 23, 2020
I have a "sexy time" playlist, but it's just the part of the Mario Bros. music where it speeds up and gets panicky
— Village Person (@SvnSxty) June 23, 2020
Monday morning's reason for apologising during a work call: this duck walked into my kitchen. I do not own a duck. pic.twitter.com/KqOQwC5KHu
— Lucy Nicholls (@LucySomerset) June 22, 2020
me: *owns 264 unread books*
me: *buys 17 new books*
me: *rereads Harry Potter*
— Professor Snape (@_Snape_) June 22, 2020
My neighbor’s BM came over to ask if she could borrow a can of vegetables . I said “what kind” she said “it don’t matter sis, just a can” 😂😂😂 I gave her my last can of frijoles & she put the shit in a sock & busted his windows & left 😂😂😂 I had to close my blinds .
— Nunu (@siempreetuya_) June 22, 2020
I don’t think there’s a Punjabi word for ‘purring’ so when our cat purrs, my parents say ‘billi da motor chalda’ (the cat’s motor is revving).
— J.S. (@JasminderSidhu) June 23, 2020
Kids are annoying because they make you do what you said you’d do.
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) June 22, 2020
her: ok cya dad we're going out
her dad to me: *holding shotgun* remember, i love my daughter very much
me: sir that's not your daughter that's a shotgun
— the hype (@TheHyyyype) June 23, 2020
Green screen 💙 pic.twitter.com/92AKhZPnog
— CCTV_IDIOTS (@cctv_idiots) June 23, 2020