In today’s Daily we serve you easily digestible and stomach-friendly food. On the menu today are for appetizers pizza delivery services. British and American cooking shows as the main course and for dessert, a lawyer’s suit is served. We wish you Bon Appétit and a lot of fun!
Got a flyer for "contactless pizza delivery". Maybe i was doing it wrong before. Are we supposed to hug them?
— Uncle Jeff (@PickleRudd) June 21, 2020
Boris Johnson confronted over claim no country has working coronavirus app pic.twitter.com/971qT9Voyy
— The Independent (@Independent) June 24, 2020
british cooking shows: tell us about this wee tart youve made, the crust is just lovely
american cooking shows: we’ve replaced your knives with philips head screwdrivers & released raccoons in the kitchen. the clock is set for 30 seconds, please bake us peace in the middle east
— soul nate (@MNateShyamalan) June 24, 2020
this will never not be iconic. pic.twitter.com/6Fr68KUqtf
— melvin (melly) (@mellyroyy) June 24, 2020
When they were passing out life jackets on the Titanic, you think there were dudes like "Nooo! It makes me look stupid!"
— Matt Fernandez (@FattMernandez) June 25, 2020
Someone is suing Twitch because women on it are too sexy. And here are the (NSFW) "harms" he describes.
I… have no words. pic.twitter.com/CyopoF3VDn
— Mike Masnick (@mmasnick) June 24, 2020
This woman on the news just said, imagine if there was a medication that reduced your chances of getting COVID by 5x. Everyone would want that medication.
Well, that's wearing a mask.
— Jasmyn (@JasmynBeKnowing) June 24, 2020
My conspiracy theory is that time travel IS real & someone keeps trying to fix 2020 by changing something but every time they do, they unwittingly make it worse. How else do you explain the sudden disappearance of murder hornets? They saved us from those but at what cost?!?!
— Chantal KC (@NSLCpunk) June 24, 2020
i wish i was a little kid so i could take a long nap and everyone just be proud of me
— 𝚣𝚊𝚗𝚎 (@spacexluv) June 24, 2020
A great country does not have its highest spike of positive cases 4 months into this. He told us he would make us great again. Instead he’s brought us to our knees.
— Neera Tanden (@neeratanden) June 24, 2020