Uh-Oh! It’s that time of the week again. If people got out of bed the wrong side, they say they are in a bad mood all day and have no obvious reason for it. It usually happens on Mondays. This relates to the old-fashioned superstition that it is unlucky to put your left foot on the ground. Luckily, there is a simple lifehack to fix that: Stay in bed! I repeat: STAY IN BED! Seriously, nothing good has ever happened on a Monday. Okay, except for our gems of today.
physically i am two days away from july, emotionally i am still processing february
— alaa (@alxoua) June 28, 2020
I don't think anything I've seen so perfectly captures why there's no way the US is going to be getting on top of COVID-19 pandemic anytime soon. pic.twitter.com/Sa0WNYyYs6
— Cassandra of Troy (@BrynnTannehill) June 28, 2020
"Wait I am free? I'M FRREEEEEE!!!!" pic.twitter.com/AwOmAyjGQT
— Back To Nature (@backt0nature) June 27, 2020
My conspiracy theory is that time travel IS real & someone keeps trying to fix 2020 by changing something but every time they do, they unwittingly make it worse. How else do you explain the sudden disappearance of murder hornets? They saved us from those but at what cost?!?!
— Chantal KC (@NSLCpunk) June 24, 2020
whoever did the pr in the 90s about cutting open plastic six pack rings so they don’t choke animals did an amazing job and they should find that person and put them in charge of the wear a mask campaign
— rachel syme (@rachsyme) June 28, 2020
Learned a very relatable term today: “報復性熬夜” (revenge bedtime procrastination), a phenomenon in which people who don’t have much control over their daytime life refuse to sleep early in order to regain some sense of freedom during late night hours.
— Daphne K. Lee (@daphnekylee) June 28, 2020
no my tattoos do not have any meaning i am simply a child putting permanent stickers all over myself<3 stop asking pls
— valerie (@cartercartilage) June 27, 2020
“you’ll get more conservative when you’re older” were words spoken by the more privileged of a generation who were actually saying “i expect that you, like me, will acquire wealth and property as you age, and therefore stop desiring to challenge that status quo”
— jess (@jessfromonline) June 27, 2020
My ultimate fantasy is telling a stranger, “you need to wear a mask” and as they go off about fake news and hoaxes, I say “oh no, I’m sorry, it’s because you’re ugly.”
— Nikki Glaser (@NikkiGlaser) June 26, 2020
If you ever want someone to listen to you describe a dream, just lie and tell them they were in it. Not too big a role, just the kind of part a director might give his nephew.
— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) June 28, 2020