The nice thing about our short, lovely introductions is that they are, well, short and lovely. You take a few minutes to give the reader a nice message on the way. After that you can enjoy the rest of the day. For instance with your in-laws, who spared no efforts to make one of their ann… nice visits. Oooor of course you can walk around in between, get something to eat, clean the bathroom, take out the rubbish, hide behind the garbage cans with your cell phone and be back in time at 7:00 p.m. to say goodbye to your in-laws before you take a few minutes to write this introduction. Anyway, here are today’s best Tweets! Enjoy!
credit card company: if you can't pay your bill, you have to pay your bill plus 29% of your bill
— the hype (@TheHyyyype) June 4, 2021
she met another dog with one eye i’m crying 😭 pic.twitter.com/I1tq7W8THz
— helen (@helen) June 4, 2021
my elderly Egyptian Uber driver happily informed me that he “supports the gays now” because he lives with a lesbian couple and “the husband lesbian is a better husband than I was”, happy pride everyone
— Janel Comeau (@VeryBadLlama) June 3, 2021
I feel like the “we’re not wearing bras anymore” discourse is for women with small tits so you gals have fun
— Julia Claire (@ohJuliatweets) June 4, 2021
at ikea fjreäkïng öuut
— anja (@internetanja) June 3, 2021
This person deserves a scholarship pic.twitter.com/L6Mxy6vfsz
— ♛ (@Okomo_xi) June 3, 2021
The weird thing about “the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell” is that I don’t think anyone has a good grasp on wtf a powerhouse is.
— Hank Green (@hankgreen) June 5, 2021
What I fear most about being a zombie is all that walking.
— Bob Golen (@BobGolen) June 4, 2021
just what needed… a fucking tree gave me a parking ticket pic.twitter.com/JFqAHwhKh4
— Cameron Bradford (@camerobradford) June 4, 2021
Welcome to your 40s. We get together every Wednesday at reasonable hours to mock people in their 20s.
— JP (@JPLFR80) June 4, 2021