You might think the pandemic is making your life unbearable but you have no idea. Gwyneth Paltrow just announced that she broke down and ate bread during quarantine! Bread! And pasta! Phew, living on the edge is rough, right? Let’s cut her some slack and enjoy something with less calories and more taste! Have fun with our gems of the day!
#1:
My girl stays asking me to help fold the clothes but how the fuck am I supposed to fold this 1 armed shirt diaper this shit makes no sense pic.twitter.com/u2ZUVkx3co
— Dres (@DougDimmaDres) May 8, 2021
#2:
I came up with my passwords when I was nine and never looked back
— LN (@abernothing) May 9, 2021
#3:
Message from a landlord; don’t cook meals in the kitchen pic.twitter.com/YitOWxxxJV
— Fenster (@FensterDJ) May 9, 2021
#4:
my 17 year old brothers school did a mock election and one of the kids ran as the communist party as a joke and the school made them stop because they were winning
— iris (@piixietit2) May 9, 2021
#5:
i have faced more peer pressure to drink oat milk than to do drugs
— Kei Lun 麒麟音樂 (@KeiLunMusic) May 8, 2021
#6:
i took a bath for the first time (i have showered my entire adult life) before bed last night and i slept for 10 hours — dead to the world, coma sleep. i feel like bath people are hiding this crucial piece of information from us.
— alex (@alex_abads) May 10, 2021
#7:
I didn’t write a single word or produce even a short until I was 29. Wrote very first feature script at 32. Time is a flat circle. No need for aspiring Twitter life coaches, just enjoy life. https://t.co/kWLFTd39Cc
— Luke Barnett (@LukeBarnett) May 9, 2021
#8:
— Michael🏳️🌈🇺🇸🌈 (@Mikethewander1) May 9, 2021
#9:
«Ah, okay! Got it!» – me afraid to ask what you said a third time
— Wenzler Powers (@WenzlerPowers) May 10, 2021
#10:
My technician leaves me notes about things I should know before I enter a patient’s room. I think my technician needs a raise. pic.twitter.com/jSYzPABIRA
— Dr. Glaucomflecken (@DGlaucomflecken) May 11, 2021
