Once again, we’ve been on the hunt, slogging through the wilderness of the internet and battling wild pets in the home office jungle who want treats during work hours. And all this to present you now the best Tweets of the day. We wish you a lot of fun!
*someone parks right beside me*
first of all how dare you
— Village Person (@SvnSxty) May 11, 2021
peace of mind pic.twitter.com/z8Ok21tO0o
— kim (@therealkimj) May 9, 2021
That Guardian Gwyneth Paltrow story is super relevant because it highlights the different universes, not worlds, the elite live in.
In 2020, for 99% of the planet, breaking down =emotional collapse at loss of loved one, livelihood, home.
For Paltrow it meant eating bread.
— Shiv Ramdas (@nameshiv) May 10, 2021
I’m confused how people who live in places where it’s always gloomy outside get their happiness??? From within??? Could not be me
— Mat George (@matchu_chutrain) May 11, 2021
waking up in the morning… thinking about so many things.. pic.twitter.com/aP1sHx7vwv
— bacall 🎟 (@miyafilms) May 10, 2021
Right now, the Moon, in its orbit, is spiraling away from Earth by about the width of two fingers every year.
Just thought you might want to know this. pic.twitter.com/SoQsU3abHp
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) May 10, 2021
being an adult is staring at medium screens all day to come home and stare at a little screen while a big screen is on in the background
— Laurazepam (@andlikelaura) May 11, 2021
fuck therapy, i need to Make A Big Purchase.
— 𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗲𝗯 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗼𝗻 (@calebsaysthings) May 11, 2021
Today Is the day I tell my son that I’m dying from cancer. It’s reached a point where he has to hear it from me. Let all my tears flow now so that I can be brave this afternoon. Let me howl with grief now so that I can comfort him. pic.twitter.com/PDgy8qbTIL
— Dr. Nadia Chaudhri (@DrNadiaChaudhri) May 11, 2021
once when I was catastrophically depressed, I put my dirty dishes out in the rain (??????) and discovered the next day that all of my silverware had been stolen by an enormous raccoon who does not fear me
— Leigh Cowart (@voraciousbrain) May 11, 2021