If you woke up to a stunning sunrise this morning, you probably had a great start this week. Ours stopped right after we left our beds for some coffee. Why? You guessed it! Monday is the root of all evil. Yes, we’ve told you that again and again. But we don’t want to depress our readers, so let’s get straight away to business and have a look at our gems for today.
my restaurant started a challenge: if we go 30 days without having to ask anyone to put a mask on we will give away free donuts for a day. So far the longest we’ve made it on any day is 2:30pm
— rachel knox (@knoxmulder) March 14, 2021
Apple removing the DVD player from laptops was the beginning of the downfall of humanity.
— Gory Cory (@gorycoryhorror) March 14, 2021
put a net in the car so my dog wouldn’t distract me while driving 🤦🏻♀️😂 pic.twitter.com/DB5B8HeKez
— ☠︎ (@spanishbarbzz) March 11, 2021
i think we should replace laughing with just saying "FUNNY" very loudly
— YO! WELEGI (@hotwaluigisex) March 14, 2021
I no longer get up to investigate strange noises. It’s whatever.
— Akilah Green (@akilahgreen) March 14, 2021
this pandemic has melted my brain every human interaction feels like talking to my crush in 8th grade
— bobby wasabi (@bIondiewasabi) March 15, 2021
The names of Donald Duck's nephews in various European languages. pic.twitter.com/1zOTgwqoCQ
— Mark Pahlow (@mcpheeceo) March 14, 2021
We could vaccinate THE ENTIRE WORLD for $25 Billion—that’s just 1% of the cost of the $1.9 Trillion American Rescue Plan.
When do we start seeing our role in the world as being about dropping medicine rather than dropping bombs?
— Dr. Abdul El-Sayed (@AbdulElSayed) March 13, 2021
I’m sorry I missed your childhood, son. I was at the grocery store trying to get a clear plastic bag open without licking my fingers.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) March 14, 2021
If this doesn't make you smile, nothing will
— Kevin W. (@Brink_Thinker) March 12, 2021