It’s Saturday and we hope, your weekend is going as smooth as the favourite hunting ground of the average polar bear. Today we present you not only Lana Del Ray, but also a brand new dog breed. Furthermore we have olives with a side of garlic and Werther’s Original as dessert. You see, it’s quite a menu we prepared, all you have to do now is deciding which drink you’ll have with it and enjoy. Have fun!
[1st person to eat an olive] this grape is cursed
— john (@mrjohndarby) March 19, 2021
my power move is saying 'UNSUBSCRIBE' in the middle of boring conversations
— Your Sole Nate ☕️ 🧙♂️ (@perlhack) March 19, 2021
[forgetting the name of this dog breed] hello i would like to adopt a plague doctor pic.twitter.com/1aFZiUEzWQ
— soul nate (@MNateShyamalan) March 20, 2021
I see you kids buying pre-rolled joints and now I understand the pain my grandpa felt when I told him I paid somebody to change my car's oil
— skáld (@HoratioSkald) March 19, 2021
[first time trying to disarm a bomb]
bomb squad teammate: what's wrong?
me: it doesn't have- i don't see any arms
— hype (@TheHyyyype) March 18, 2021
Do you believe in annoyed at first sight?
— V (@V32951124) March 19, 2021
give Lana del Rey one single antidepressant and her career is over
— dvd 📀 (@disxpix) March 19, 2021
recipe: 4 cloves garlic
me: if you’re weak
— slate (@PleaseBeGneiss) March 19, 2021
Told my daughter work was tough today and she patted my back and said, “Life isn’t always pickles and peaches,” like some kind of 3rd Grade Confucius.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) March 19, 2021
I think it's pathetic that people are making fun of Joe Biden for falling while going up the stairs of Air force one. Biden is eighty years old. Maybe he saw a Werther's original lying on the steps and was just trying to pick it up.
— karanbir singh (@karanbirtinna) March 20, 2021