Isn’t home office wonderful? No commute to work, sleep longer, no colleagues, a long coffee break in between without a guilty conscience. Lovely. With children, of course, the whole thing looks different again. Or as a couple. But if even the work in the home office is not relieving and relaxing, then maybe we have the solution for you with our Daily! We have a tip for you today on how to be a true hero or how to make new friends even in quarantine.
#1:
me: 1 ticket to your horniest movie
employee: sir, youre clearly 3 toddlers in a trenchcoat
me: no
employee: *opening my coat* why are the toddlers also wearing trenchcoats
me: each toddler is 3 babies
employee: hey this guy is 9 babies
me: [babies] let us see trolls 2
— soul nate (@MNateShyamalan) March 24, 2020
#2:
My husband went to the grocery store yesterday. They actually had toilet paper, but we don’t need toilet paper, so he didn’t buy any toilet paper. He is my hero.
— 🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ🎭 (@3sunzzz) March 24, 2020
#3:
I’m sorry but if people such as fast food and grocery store workers are considered to be “essential workers” during a global pandemic then they deserve way more than $15 a fucking hour.
— Fast Food Worker Stan Account 🌹 (@GregoryHardinII) March 22, 2020
#4:
The guy im dating just texted me this and ive never been more turned on pic.twitter.com/9ErRf1pR9Y
— kendra (@kendraaaleighh) March 25, 2020
#5:
Coronavirus: For years neoliberals sought a minimalist state, attacked the public services, promoted speculation & free markets. Free markets & billionaires have not rescued them. Only the state & public services stand between them and economic oblivion. Time for a change.
— Prem Sikka (@premnsikka) March 22, 2020
#6:
We’ve successfully migrated our operations to home office. Just give us a call, if you got any questions. ✌️
You can reach us via Yellow-Purple-Green-Green-Blue. 📞 pic.twitter.com/xHjgR2I0Fs
— Deck13 (@Deck13_de) March 17, 2020
#7:
During lockdown, while many other artists are doing mini-concerts from their homes, I thought I’d do you all a favour and not.
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) March 25, 2020
#8:
ME: Oh my god, it’s so nice to have company after so long. Please come in, we’re best friends now
BURGLAR: Um
— Michael, Quarantine Edition 🌶 (@Home_Halfway) March 24, 2020
#9:
just a reminder that if your fellow self quarantining neighbors are being too loud you might be able to connect to their Bluetooth speaker
pic.twitter.com/6zi0ozJoWc— Matt O'Brien (@matt_obrien) March 24, 2020
#10:
1979: I bet there’ll be flying cars in the future
2020: pic.twitter.com/motviyohHW
— You Have One Job, Stay Indoors (@_youhadonejob1) March 23, 2020