Dear mothers, Happy Mother’s Day! We want to say thank you! Thank you for always being there for us. Thank you for raising us. Thank you for always enduring us and our quirks. As a gift, we unfortunately have no roses but our daily! We wish you a wonderful day!
it’s so attractive when someone pays attention to the little details of you
— Mya 🦋 (@playboimyaa) May 7, 2020
One kid at the pizza party would always eat the pepper in the pizza box and everyone would go crazy
— tommy bayer (@TommmyBear) May 9, 2020
Learn German, they said.
It’ll be fun, they said. pic.twitter.com/7l5LcqIEzw
— Emma Bostian 🐞 (@EmmaBostian) May 8, 2020
Interesting how wearing a mask is considered as being afraid, yet carrying a gun is just protection.
— Brynn ❄️ (@pcbrynn) May 8, 2020
HER: a little to the left
ME: universal healthcare
ME: erradicate billionaires
HER: ya that's the spot
— hey buddy (@ComicsHey) May 9, 2020
"X Æ A-12 come get your breakfast" pic.twitter.com/Q5gyIxcM1N
— kmick (@kmickmon) May 6, 2020
happy early Mother’s Day to all the women dating guys in their early 20s. He didn’t come out of you but u still drive him places, remind him to shower, and ask if he ate today. Thank you for all u do
— first-mate prance (@bocxtop) May 9, 2020
Captain: what kind of lettuce do u want on your sandwich
First mate: ICEBERG
Captain: lol no need to shout, Dave
— tom (@pilau) May 9, 2020
girls who call their mom “this crazy chick” on Mother’s Day were allowed to have parties in their finished basement in high school
— 𝘾𝘼𝙇𝙀𝘽 𝙃𝙀𝘼𝙍𝙊𝙉 (@calebsaysthings) May 9, 2020
My girlfriend is driving us to Home Depot and she just said “Sometimes, I forget that I am driving a car.” …….????
— eco sister (@hiitaylorblake) May 7, 2020