A long time ago in a galaxy far far away. It is a very dark period full of despair and great sadness. Rebel jokes, tweeted from an unknown basement, have marked the first victory against the evil Galactic Empire. While being on a stand up comedy battle, rebel nerds managed to steal secret plans to the Empire’s ultimate weapon: Monday. A sinister day, which kicks off a week full of work, and where everyone has to get up early. This evil plan has enough power to destroy an entire planet. Pursued by the Empire’s sinister helpers, we race home aboard our little twitter ship, custodian of the stolen plans that can save us and everyone who hates capitalism and could help to restore freedom to the galaxy… May our tweets for today be with you.
i miss this feeling pic.twitter.com/0SRiEwpllL
— ✨ (@rexgemz) May 7, 2021
— WholesomeMemes (@WholesomeMeme) May 8, 2021
IPhone need a 2% warning 😂 That 10% don’t scare me enough to get the charger 😭😭
— ™ (@TmBeautiiful) May 8, 2021
My friend quit her job for a better paying opportunity and the current job offered her 20k to stay. She was going to take it until i told her to take that offer to the new one and negotiate. Guess who still quitting and now getting paid 40k more. FINESSE IS THE ANSWER.
— a jabria stan account (@whirlibird_) May 8, 2021
Perhaps the best one-liner in a student paper this semester, "The analysis is severely limited by my lack of understanding of what I am doing." #humility
— Paul Shafer (@shaferpr) May 7, 2021
I’m so sorry but if you’re bringing your 95 year old parent to me and asking that I advise against them eating cookies, that’s just something I cannot do.
— Monica Maalouf, MD (@MaaloufMD) May 7, 2021
Feeling cute, might knock stuff off the counter later, idk 😋 pic.twitter.com/9wpeTk0toA
— Weasel307 (@Weasel3071) May 8, 2021
yeah not falling for this one pic.twitter.com/JGD0BSrMXG
— nick (@JucheMane) May 9, 2021
how it be pic.twitter.com/9zRCoff8xa
— dani (@peepeepoopd) May 8, 2021
If by hot girl summer you mean hot flashes and hanging on emotionally by a thread then yes, this is my hot girl summer.
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) May 8, 2021