It’s Saturday, and like every week that’s a day which is met with very mixed feelings: on the one side, it’s still part of the well earned and food filled weekend. On the other side tomorrow is already Sunday, meaning another Monday is near. And like the common squirrel, harvesting nuts before the harsh winter, we have to embrace the time on the couch with our loved ones (okay, with our cushions and favorite Netflix show) to make it through the first day of the week. It’s a never ending circle of joy and despair, much like the feeling when you open a pizza box, being perfectly aware of the fact that this moment only lasts for a limited time. It’s almost the same feeling when you open our daily gems. So enjoy it while you can. And have fun!
Adam: hey this is amazing we're the first people ever, can you belEVE it lol
Eve: oh right, you like puns
Adam: have you EDEN dinner yet lmao
Eve: think I'm gonna go talk to this shady looking snake
— Ella Zee 🌈👑 (@EllaZee5) May 14, 2021
Making a Jurassic Park movie about a guy who went the day before the dinosaurs broke out and is trying to be sensitive about it but also really wants to show you his pictures.
— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) May 14, 2021
My 15 year old neighbor slapped this on his mom’s car and she hasn’t noticed yet pic.twitter.com/GvF7oTL3uW
— Mom Jeans (@momjeansplease) May 14, 2021
If you're a millennial currently upset that younger generations don't think you're cool, one of the perks of being over 25 is that you don't actually need to worry about being cool anymore. You need to worry about paying rent & finding sleep positions that don't cause neck pain.
— Roxi Horror 💀🌸 (@roxiqt) May 14, 2021
When I weigh myself, I automatically subtract 25lbs for all the rage I carry
— Rachy Rach (@riot4rach) May 14, 2021
Youth pastor: know who else moved back in with his dad in his thirties?
— shrimple (@shrimple_) May 13, 2021
I don't understand people who jump out of a perfectly functioning plane for fun.
— Tater's Trailer Park 🇨🇦 (@TrueTorontoGirl) May 14, 2021
Judge: we will now take a thirty minute recess
[10 minutes later outside]
Defendant: can you push me on the swing
— John Kennedy (@FrazzleMyGimp) May 14, 2021
three women simultaneously coming to the realization that there is no God pic.twitter.com/fr44mVlfLJ
— Uncle Duke (@UncleDuke1969) May 14, 2021
But if Trump and the Proud Boys break up who gets custody of toxic masculinity?
— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) May 14, 2021