Half the week is gone, and only two days remain till weekend. And once again, we went on the hunt for you. Only the best Tweets for our spoiled audience. With us today: How dating girls feels like, the difference between intelligence and wisdom and nightmare fuel!
“I am being silenced” says man whose face and voice I have to see and hear every goddamned day against my will across a suite of apps and media platforms
— Anthony Oliveira (@meakoopa) May 18, 2021
Dating girls is so annoying I sent a pic of me in lingerie to a girl I’m texting and she’s like “omg I’ve been looking for that set for ages where did u find it?” I-
— Nikita (@nikitadumptruck) May 18, 2021
Intelligence is to win an argument. Wisdom is to not argue in the first place.
— Shower Thoughts (@TheWeirdWorld) May 18, 2021
i love visiting any person in their 20s and asking where their recycling is and they just point to some fucked up little corner of their apartment where you have to gently place ur can on top of a growing tower of recyclables like an aluminum game of jenga
— thomas 🍌 (@perfectsweeties) May 18, 2021
my child has nearly filled a 5 gallon bucket with cicada shells. what shall we do with this nightmare fuel?
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) May 19, 2021
the dominos pizza tracker says alfred is quality checking my order but alfred also made it. isn't this a conflict of interest
— the government man (@me_irl) May 18, 2021
saying ‘i have money tied up in investments’ to describe having asos returns i haven’t sent back yet
— lucy ford (@lucyj_ford) May 18, 2021
an extremely rare Italian Falcon 🤌🏻 pic.twitter.com/PVWuWV8vwe
— Vincent Martella (@VinMan17) May 18, 2021
me: I need tires
michelin: here you go
me: now if only someone could rate my restaurant
michelin: you're not gonna believe this
— Adam Cerious (@Browtweaten) May 17, 2021
no im not doin nothing im just sitting pic.twitter.com/9OMd6SbKzr
— pinar (@pienar) May 18, 2021