It’s Saturday, and while the weather is acting like a nervous squirell, which can’t decide in what direction it wants to go, we went running around to get the best nuts for you. Tweets, we meant Tweets! Although both can be quite hard to find, even when you’re an adorable fuzzy creature everyone likes and…where were we? Right. Weather. Tweets. Squirells. Next week we’ll teach you the obvious similarities between Twitter and raccoon families. But until then, without further delay, our gems of the day. Enjoy!
the pandemic is a lot like Game of Thrones – it's the only thing anyone discussed at work all year, the ending feels kind of rushed and no one is going to want to talk about it again after it's over
— Janel Comeau (@VeryBadLlama) May 20, 2021
Imagine a kid repeatedly failing a captcha and that’s how he learns his parents adopted a robot.
— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) May 22, 2021
Stranger: So, how are you?
Me: Oh, you know. I can't complain.
My brain: I CAN COMPLAIN. I CAN COMPLAIN A LOT.
— The Smiling Thanos (@ThanosSmiling) May 21, 2021
— Nickelforward (@NickelForward) May 20, 2021
oh don’t worry im fully vaccinated im just coughing uncontrollably because i choked on my own saliva
— ꧁Madimoiselle꧂ (@drivingmemadi) May 21, 2021
Me *putting honey on toast*
Son: do you know bees make that?
Me: uh yeah I'm not an idiot
Date: tell me something interesting
Me: bees make toast
— Jon (@ArfMeasures) May 21, 2021
social media 2010: look at this cute pic of my dog!
social media 2021: i wanna die but first allow me to explain how shrek is an absolute sex icon
— tatum (@50FirstTates) May 18, 2021
No wife, no note, no service. pic.twitter.com/2CuhVkWfXL
— AparnaRC (@Wordesse) May 21, 2021
raccoon haters are on the wrong side of history. It will soon be normalized to just admit your love for raccoons and the haters will look like fools
— Hurt CoPain (@SaeedDiCaprio) May 21, 2021
i forgot the word "dosage" so i asked my doctor what my medication's "serving size" was
— the hype (@TheHyyyype) May 21, 2021