Today we have the best song jokes of the day, sponsored by Corona commercials and the best idea to make the first time as magical as possible! Have fun!
she’s not that innocent. https://t.co/naRLerWXSr
— luckie (@humansrlosers) May 22, 2020
U know it’s bad when you don’t even get morning skinny anymore
— . (@abbieleighhhhh) May 16, 2020
What absolute dystopian hell world are we living in. pic.twitter.com/Srnot6ZUji
— Firr (@Firr) May 20, 2020
RIP to everyone with the hottest room in the house
— Haych kay🐧 (@humairakibria_) May 20, 2020
Me: how are you?
Me: I hear that.
Toddler: can you change me?
Me: I can try but happiness comes from within.
Wife: HIS DIAPER YOU IDIOT.
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) May 24, 2020
Gf: I want our first time to be magical
Gf: do you have protection
Me: wait what’s that behind your ear
— Steeve (@steeve_again) May 23, 2020
constellations are a bit of a stretch like “i’m a lion” my dude you’re a triangle
— samreich (@samreich) May 24, 2020
Taking a deep breath with your eyes closed feels better than with your eyes open.
— Shower Thoughts (@TheWeirdWorld) May 24, 2020
People going to the beach then fuming about people being at the beach pic.twitter.com/cfzWZx2b93
— Kurtis Norman (@KurtisNorman) May 22, 2020
I may never go back to not wearing a mask in public.
– looks cool
– get gendered correctly more
– protects against disease
– fucks up facial recognition
— char-antine (@aGirlCalledChar) May 23, 2020