Today we have something very special for you: the invention of soups. The classic french-italian conflict reopened and plans for a reunion with friends after the lockdown! Have fun!
#1:
Are you even British if you don’t say ‘someone’s having a BBQ’ every time you can smell one
— Jessica Howard (@jessicaahowardx) May 25, 2020
#2:
i wanna see a netflix show of US kids going to UK schools for a term
— Michael Scofield🗽 (@1conmk) May 25, 2020
#3:
This morning I made French toast with Italian bread, bc 'conflict' is my secret ingredient. pic.twitter.com/WrDHHkK9tf
— unfortuNate (dad)jokes 🧙♂️ (@perlhack) May 27, 2020
#4:
her: we should get an apartment together
me: don't think that's a good idea
her: wtf? why not?
me: because i'd rather get a togetherment 🙂
her: actually we should break up
— hype (discount the devil) (@TheHyyyype) May 27, 2020
#5:
People think I'm a bitch for never wanting to give out my number to people, but like this guy has been texting me all weekend asking for me to let him out of my basement. Like chill dude.
— Rad Tasia, AKA The Great Disappointment (@GroovyTasia) May 27, 2020
#6:
I would be overwhelmed trying to loot Target I would have to get a cart and walk around and take my time
— Mel Horowitz (@WhiiteBoiDre) May 28, 2020
#7:
soup was invented in 1927 by John Soup when he wanted to drink a chicken
— Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) May 27, 2020
#8:
The two at the top murdered a combined of 32 people. The two at the bottom sold illegal cigarettes and wrote a bad check… pic.twitter.com/JFP958riPX
— Kenny Imfura🃏 (@KImfura_104) May 26, 2020
#9:
sometimes i think about how in high school we had an uninterested football coach teach sex ed and i remember him saying “why do i have to do this the cavemen figured it out themselves” and then i think about how the first time i had sex the condom broke cause it was inside out
— discount pete davidson (@Keefler_Elf) May 27, 2020
#10:
After lockdown I think I’m gonna have to play some ice breakers with my mates so I can get comfortable with them again
— Doaud (@Doaud_) May 22, 2020