It’s Saturday and this could be the very first weekend with summer feelings in 2021. So for all of us who already have been vaccinated, we advise you to seize the day. Go to that beautiful park. Have a few hours of sunshine with a brand new book. Drink a cold one in the middle of the day. Summon that demon by midnight at your local cemetery. Hunt this annoying neighbour of yours down with that demon. Be yourself again. But most importantly, enjoy these Tweets we have found. Have fun!
i constantly use humor as a defense mechanism so if u can’t tell when i’m joking just know that i also cannot tell
— tatum (@50FirstTates) May 27, 2021
Our aquarium used to serve dolphin shaped chicken nuggets. I think about that a lot
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) May 28, 2021
"Don't forget that we're family!" You live on the other side of the country. I met you once when I was 4 years old & we've talked twice since. I have a stronger connection to the potted plant in the lobby of my apartment building.
— Roxi Horror 💀🌸 (@roxiqt) May 28, 2021
customer: do these solar panels take a while to charge?
me: I'll be honest, it doesn't happen overnight
— Adam Cerious (@Browtweaten) May 28, 2021
Anyone who has ever been 21 knows that Forever21 sounds like more of a threat than a brand
— stoned cold fox (@roastmalone_) May 27, 2021
a librarian's job is to protect patrons from that most fearsome of creatures, the cat pic.twitter.com/gDCptQEttR
— Owl! at the Library 😴🧙♀️ (@SketchesbyBoze) May 27, 2021
Overheard someone hiss into their phone, “I realize that, but I cannot miss Theodore’s bassoon recital,” and now I have a new catch-all excuse
— Mave (@MavenofHonor) May 27, 2021
If you're on a zoom call with a guy and he has guitars hanging on the wall behind him, DO NOT ask him about them, that's exactly what he wants you to do.
— Jeff Lyons (@usedwigs) May 27, 2021
You're not going to believe this, but I forgot my wallet pic.twitter.com/giTutVuskX
— an english human 🤓 (@English_Channel) May 28, 2021
[using social media a totally normal healthy way] hey is anyone on here proud of me
— sio (@bestinsio) May 28, 2021