Already today at noon we told you about a new child on this earth, which has a very strange name. But let’s assume that the name you chose on Twitter as your username would be your own name. Then we’d have a lot of candidates who could bear a good company to Elon Musk’s baby
Lets leave you alone with this thought and our Daily. Have fun!
THE CHORDETTES: 🎶Mr. Sandman bring me a dream🎶
MR. SANDMAN: I sell sand. My title could not have been more clear. Do you want sand?
THE CHORDETTES: Why would we want sand?
MR. SANDMAN: Why would I bring drea—you know what I’m not—I’m not gonna make this, a thing, with you.
— MehGyver (@TheAndrewNadeau) May 6, 2020
Bilbo: maybe the real treasure was the friends we made along the way
Thorin: it was a literal mountain filled with gold
Bilbo: [sighing happily] best friends
— tom (@pilau) May 5, 2020
My kid wrote a song called,
“I Wonder What’s Inside your Butthole” Quite honestly, it slaps. pic.twitter.com/A65m6XeZ2r
— Lisa Shmeesa 🦎🦎🦎 (@LisaRieffel) May 2, 2020
Whenever my wife needs a good laugh I say “let’s have another baby!” and it kills her every time.
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) May 5, 2020
'When you show him a good meme … pic.twitter.com/GnMmyO8YzT
george women bush pic.twitter.com/H3nvYSkPWU
— aaron (@aaronlikethecar) May 5, 2020
netflix: [after 2 hours] are you still watching?
hulu: [after 3 days] i'ma keep playing even though you're likely dead. our advertisers won't know the difference.
— Pats A' Tweetin (@PatsATweetin) May 5, 2020
very excited to see helena bonham carter play the vampire based on amanda palmer in the tim burton movie based on the neil gaiman book based on their divorce
— job haver (@slorrmp) May 4, 2020
there are quite simply no better 30 seconds of cinéma pic.twitter.com/aoLpv5aB6G
— Dan Gurewitch (@DanGurewitch) April 30, 2020
Imagine being married to a man, and you have a baby girl and then he exclaims to the world ‘wow! Now i know how to finally treat women’ with you, his wife, in close proximity.
— Rebel Scum (@awkward_duck) May 4, 2020