Kids are a great thing. Also today in our Daily some of the weirdest and funniest moments from and about children you can laugh about. In addition, we have for you: How the clock was invented, proper hand hygiene and a drunken e-mail! Have fun!
#1:
intermittent fasting? i just slept 7 hours without a snack what more do you want from me?
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) May 5, 2021
#2:
heard a guy answer the question “are you a smoker or non-smoker?” with “i do a little of both”
— slick (@dlicj) May 5, 2021
#3:
I believe in aliens more than I believe in a “runner’s high”
— natalie (@princessbozo) May 5, 2021
#4:
lmaooo this was a legitimate email my sister sent to a college professor when she forgot to submit a paper whilst drunk at a darty. like can you imagine reading this with sober eyes???? pic.twitter.com/CpMDJexBZd
— wild milk (@_wildmilk) May 5, 2021
#5:
Shortly after my kid was born, a nurse finishing a little procedure said something like “and now we’ll hand him to mom.” I was confused about why they were giving him to my mom, then had this galaxy brain moment where I was like, “oh shit, i’m the mom now”
— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) May 5, 2021
#6:
Guy who invented the clock: there will be 12 numbers on it
Friend: so the day will be divided into 12 segments?
Inventor: no, 24
Friend: so will the day start at 1
Inventor: the day will start at the 12, which is at night
Friend:
Inventor: the 6 means 30
— llama | twitch.tv/llamainatux (@LlamaInaTux) May 5, 2021
#7:
"why are people still wearing masks" because people are still getting COVID, so glad I could help, next question please
— Lindsay King-Miller (@AskAQueerChick) May 5, 2021
#8:
rule number one of gaslighting club is there is no gaslighting club what the hell are u talking about
— tatum (@50FirstTates) May 5, 2021
#9:
I am in shock. Lived in this flat for 2 years and only just discovered TODAY it has a dishwasher. I thought it was a fake cupboard 🙃🙃🙃 I’ve wasted days of my life washing up🙃🙃🙃 pic.twitter.com/uiA0tyb7hZ
— Tom Hale🐐 (@tommyhale91) May 5, 2021
#10:
Remember to wash your hands with soap and water for twenty seconds. And, before biting an apple, rub it briefly on the shirt you’ve been wearing all day
— B.J. Novak (@bjnovak) May 5, 2021