So yesterday the first promising vaccine was announced and we’re pretty sure, every decent person had immediately two thoughts popping up. 1: Monday, you sneaky bastard. Not bad, we understimated you. And 2: Does that mean the glorious days of home office and casual no pants friday are over? Do we have to use public transport again, every morning? Like some kind of animal? But at least most of us will still have a job, unlike several hundred campaign workers for the one who shall not be named anymore. Rumors are flying around that the german word «Schadenfreude» is gaining popularity in the US, just like NSYNC’s «Bye Bye Bye» is climbing the charts again. We’ll see, until then we present you our daily Best of Twitter. From home office of course. Enjoy!
Buckle up fam, if you’ve never broken up with a narcissist you have no idea just how rough the next 74 days are gonna.
— Sarah (@thetigersez) November 8, 2020
Girls don't want a boyfriend, they want a domesticated raccoon that wears tiny hats & likes to eat grapes.
— Roxi Horror 💀🌸 (@roxiqt) November 9, 2020
What has historically solved all problems is being super nice to the people who caused them.
— Kashana (@kashanacauley) November 8, 2020
long ago, the four seasons lived together in total landscaping.
— soul nate (@MNateShyamalan) November 9, 2020
bruce wayne: i am going to help the citizens of gotham
alfred: that’s wonderful sir which public assistance programs will you help fund
bruce wayne: alfred, dress me like a bat
I trained for kitty army
But never got deployed
So now in waking moments
I stare into the void pic.twitter.com/6TPuVel7q8
— Curious Zelda (@CuriousZelda) November 10, 2020
"I will not get a vaccine the government is tracking us" karen your son is selling weed on snapchat
— frankie (@frankieplsrelax) November 9, 2020
You don’t scare me. You’re not an omelette I’m about to flip.
— Katie Didn't (@Pork_Chop_Hair) November 9, 2020
the best part of subtitles is their descriptions of music. shoutout to "discordant ominous theme" and "country flavored pop music"
— That Pesky Prostitüt™ (@LittleMissAngr1) November 9, 2020
the Trump Presidential Library will be that little cart the trustee wheels around the cell block
— Jeff Tiedrich (@itsJeffTiedrich) November 9, 2020