The holiday season is coming closer and since it might be nice not to kill granny it’s time to think about alternatives. Of course, you could do it the Lindsey Graham way and just ask your mom to delete Thanksgiving out of the calendar. But let’s be honest, as long as you’re not covered by the (soon to be former) administration, you won’t get away with it. Or do it as Ben Shapiro and say … haha, just kidding, who would listen to what Ben Shapiro is saying unless you’re a three-legged turtle and not fast enough to crawl away?! So, while you’re trying to find a solution without ending up disinherited we want to cheer you up with our gems of the day. Please enjoy!
a symbol of wealth among pigeons pic.twitter.com/3U6RPCVrin
— Living Morganism 🌱 (@ok_girlfriend) November 16, 2020
The real reason canceling college debt scares people is that America’s economy basically depends on a series of parasitic middleman service industries and if the state acknowledges that one is unfair its just a slippery slope to building a functional society
— proudly overusing «cope» (@MenshevikM) November 16, 2020
This thanksgiving is gonna be extra special cuz Americans can spread disease to each other like in the original
— I’m tellin ya (@BabancourtPapi) November 11, 2020
When a baby is about to be born, someone always has to boil water. It’s for the baby’s first hot dogs.
— Dave Cactus (@dave_cactus) November 15, 2020
my gamer wife won’t pay attention to me pic.twitter.com/ViMAbbi9jm
— relationships.txt (@redditships) November 16, 2020
Nudes are like pizza; everyone claims they’re great until they get some they didn’t order from a place with questionable standards
— Jules⚓️ (@julcasagrande) November 16, 2020
Fox News and Facebook did to our parents what they said video games would do to us.
— Ally Maynard (@allymayn) November 16, 2020
Why are they called paintings. Ur done. That there’s a Painted
— Kyle 🌱 (@KylePlantEmoji) November 15, 2020
Listening to my grandpa complain about canceling student loan debt because he worked really hard to pay off his college tuition in *checks notes* one summer
— Rob Actually (@RobbyActually) November 16, 2020
The perfect Craigslist gig doesn’t exi- pic.twitter.com/PRFP19lUc8
— Anna Merlan (@annamerlan) November 15, 2020