Yay, everybody! Once again we made it through an entire week full of political nonsense, medical horror, and Joe Biden winning the presidential election for the millionth time. We know, it feels like Groundhog Day AGAIN, so let’s focus on the good stuff instead. As every day we’ve been diving through the Twitter universe and found the best Tweets for you. Today we got some Excel insights you surely can relate to, interesting co-workers, and Matthew McConaughey. You’re welcome!
excel: is that a date?
me: 57.39 is very much not a date
excel: strong date vibes to me
excel: fixed it
excel: you’re welcome
— slate (@PleaseBeGneiss) November 17, 2020
The wealth of Amazon’s Jeff Bezos has increased $70,700,000,000 since mid-March while an estimated 20,000 Amazon workers have been infected with Covid-19.
Still no hazard pay, paid sick leave, or adequate protection.
Capitalism off the rails.
— Robert Reich (@RBReich) November 18, 2020
Would he run as a Democrat or as Alt-Right, Alt-Right, Alt-Right https://t.co/zwukhAtnQb
— Zack Bornstein (@ZackBornstein) November 18, 2020
60 minutes of doing anything is worth more than $7.25
— Anthony V. Clark (@anthonyvclark20) November 19, 2020
how old were u when u realized all the new famous people and athletes were younger than u and your life was over
— first-mate prance (@bocxtop) November 19, 2020
I imagine Dolly Parton sitting in a quiet room, manipulating RNA while writing a hit song.
— Steve Martin (@SteveMartinToGo) November 19, 2020
“It has a 98% survival rate” say the people who clearly can’t calculate that 2% of 328 million is 6 fucking million people.
— Kamala stan. Period. (@LavenderProf) November 18, 2020
This chick at work gave me a pill for my headache and I haven’t blinked in 6 hours…. girl you are going to JAIL
— raul (@rauItra) November 17, 2020
I am no longer impressed that Sasha Baron Cohen tricked Rudy Giuliani.
— Miles Kahn (@mileskahn) November 19, 2020
My four year old, when asked by a friend at day care why she has two mums and no dad, told her that her dad was eaten by a shark.
— Kate (@BakeKater) November 18, 2020