It’s over! You have officially survived November. Doesn’t matter if it’s another Monday. There are only four of them left anyway. So, what about a big cup full of eggnog or mulled wine? (Or bathtub for the pros.) It makes office work far more easier than you would think. Your boss and your colleagues seem nicer than usual and more attractive too. Even the most annoying Christmas songs suddenly become pretty tolerable if not singable. You should try! It’s instant magic what alcohol can do. Speaking of magic, here are 10 gems you should check out.
Men's midlife crises are intensely boring they just get an expensive bike and marry a 30 year old version of the same wife whereas women do fucken cool stuff like open owl cafes, retrain as beekeepers and get phds in necromancy.
— Helen Kingston (@kingstonwrites) November 28, 2020
bosses be like "this isnt just a job, it's a family and we genuinely care about u" then start ur salary at $7.35 an hour
— first-mate prance (@bocxtop) November 29, 2020
8 year old me tryna see what the fridge looks like closed pic.twitter.com/JDYMUqwG3u
— Jaidan (@jaidvn) November 27, 2020
me: i’m so sad and hopeless and directionless
my brain: buy stuff
me: no listen i need a purpose
brain: a purchase?
— dirt prince (@pant_leg) November 29, 2020
— PTSDGuts Redux (@PTSDGuts2) November 28, 2020
If you don't like macaroni and cheese take that shit to the grave nobody wanna hear that shit
— Talisa (@madblackdyke) November 26, 2020
It’s amazing how the US election infrastructure was working just fine in 2016, when Trump won the presidency, but now in 2020 it’s like a “third-world country” when he lost. Who was president during that period of decline?
— Glenn Kessler (@GlennKesslerWP) November 26, 2020
My dog figured out the new car has heated seats pic.twitter.com/0FGykFCWq4
— Jay Willis (@jaywillis) November 29, 2020
people that wake up naturally at like 6am need to be put on some sort of watch list.
— queen quen (@quenblackwell) November 28, 2020
these kids in Christmas movies who ask Santa for "my family to get back together" or "my parents to be happy again" are fucking losers. Ask for heelys
— caitie delaney (@caitiedelaney) November 27, 2020