It’s Saturday and the United States finally have a president-elect. The tone became rougher throughout the night, with Mayor Kenney of Philadelphia advising Trump to «put his big boy pants on» and CNN’s Anderson Cooper referring to a sitting president as an «obese turtle» live on TV. In conclusion, you couldn’t make this shit up anymore. But again we won’t complain, if you completely dismiss what has been at stake, it was extremely entertaining. In this spirit we’ll soldier on and keep diving through Twitter, seperating the obese turtles from the shiny pearls for you. Please enjoy.
I’ve actually lost weight. What the scale says is fraud. These pounds came in after I got in the scale. I had lost so much and these illegal pounds just got placed on there. Don’t believe the number on the scale.
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) November 5, 2020
Just threw out the birthday card my Nana mailed me because it arrived the day after my birthday. Too late Nana! Very corrupt woman. Probably dead
— Ray O'Leary (@oleary_ray) November 6, 2020
I’ll never forget where I was when I found out “it’s looking good but nothing’s certain” for the sixteenth time.
— Nikki Glaser (@NikkiGlaser) November 6, 2020
Today's front page: "One small hand clinging to everything except reality". https://t.co/vyyUKcrXn3 pic.twitter.com/jnYgXsOfbQ
— The Saturday Paper (@SatPaper) November 6, 2020
joe biden moving into the white house and looking for the half a sandwich he left in the break room four years ago
— [email protected] (@TweetPotato314) November 6, 2020
Who would have thought 2 men in their 70s could maintain an election for this long?
— Angie Moxham (@AngieMoxham) November 6, 2020
I’ve slept with adult skateboarders who text back faster than we’re getting election results
— Ginny Hogan_ (@ginnyhogan_) November 6, 2020
— Pinot Evil (@TheWinegasm) November 4, 2020
Honestly this was my best-case scenario pic.twitter.com/runl2dysBX
— Pigeon Fancier (@isabelzawtun) November 7, 2020
Trump: What do you mean I’m losing? The whole damn map is red!
Pence: That’s the COVID outbreak map, Mr. President.
— Shade 5 🎬 (@Shade510) November 6, 2020