Do you still remember the times when you were at the club until 6 or 7 a.m. and sometimes watched the sunrise after the party? Good old times. I think we all know the feeling of sitting at home, alone, with a glass of wine, on a Friday night, thinking, «Damn, I’ve got old. » For all those who know this feeling and who are also sometimes overwhelmed by this melancholy, we have something to cheer you up: A lot of humor!
Yesterday, all I had to do was write three sentences, so instead I baked for five hours.
— Ariel Elias (@ArielSElias) October 15, 2020
ME, 20: I’m going to six bars & staying out all night
ME, 25: I’m going to one bar & will go home at midnight
ME, 30: I’m going to drink at home & compare fruit prices at grocery stores online
— Roxi Horror 💀🌸 (@roxiqt) October 14, 2020
Neither does the word women and yet here we are. https://t.co/Gb4TvKUB9w
— Katie Hill (@KatieHill4CA) October 14, 2020
the stock market is so fucking cute the way it shuts down at exactly 4pm and everyone goes home and waits till the next day to play with pretend money again ugh its adorable
— eli the pumpkin pie (@jazz_inmypants) October 14, 2020
When your entire government is run by people too wealthy to experience the consequences of their own decisions we call that a big whoopsie
— Dan Sheehan (@ItsDanSheehan) October 14, 2020
do birds ever fly just for fun or are they always on some kind of mission
— james (@videojames_) October 14, 2020
Kris Jenner be 64 dating a 39 year old… I should stress no more… my future boo probably struggling through 10th grade maths right now…. “you’re doing amazing sweetie!”
— Lisa Mila (@milamiarose) October 13, 2020
I think it’s time to phase out either Brendon or Brandon. We don’t really need both. Let’s pick one and run with it
— caitie delaney (@caitiedelaney) October 14, 2020
youth pastor: You know who’s really ‘Among Us’ everywhere we go?
— cal? (@cal_gif) October 14, 2020
to this day my mom is like «i dont think u have adhd, i think u just gotta focus a little.» i understand your honda civic brain can start on command mother but i have a unicycle for a frontal lobe and the devil rides its pedals
— jay ⛅ a wisp of wind (@bovibaee) October 13, 2020