Have all of you recovered from the first presidential debate? We know, it wasn’t easy to watch, but on the bright side: At least we didn’t need to go home in order to observe old people fighting. Anyway, politics is still on people’s minds and we did our best to find the most incisive tweets regarding the government and other types of Halloween horrors. Enjoy our selection of the day!
how do pornstars make porn without saying i love you each time??
— Pallavi (@PallaviGunalan) September 30, 2020
Thinking about when teachers forced us to buy these in middle school to cover our book reports, like… why all this fanfare, why this level of protection for a poorly-spelled two-page 14pt comic sans summary of a Goosebumps book pic.twitter.com/MNvGHmjHBI
— caitie delaney (@caitiedelaney) October 1, 2020
Goodnight y’all. I gotta get up early to go down to the creek to look for my ballot.🙄
— Wanda Sykes (@iamwandasykes) September 30, 2020
interviewer: your resume says the gap in employment was because you “weren’t feelin it”
me: ya i like just didn’t 𝙚𝙭𝙞𝙨𝙩 for a few years
interviewer: *leaning out door and whispering* you can do that?
— slate (@PleaseBeGneiss) September 30, 2020
every city has 1 infamous mcdonald’s that is the wild west, you have to mentally sign on the dotted line agreeing to accept fries with a side of chaos upon entering
— no (@miskeencore) September 30, 2020
“you’d really end a friendship over politics??” yes what’s not clicking
— firelord zuko ♕ (@F1REL0RDZUK0) September 30, 2020
when i was a young boy my father took me to da vinky to see the mona lisa
— linc (@lincnotfound) September 30, 2020
Men are too emotional to be president.
— Jill Filipovic (@JillFilipovic) September 30, 2020
I just had to run my daughter a second bath because the first, and I quote, had a hair in it
— Crockett🍀 (@CrockettForReal) September 30, 2020
i dont think my boyfriend, the 12-foot Halloween Skeleton from Home Depot, would be too pleased to hear about this
— pinar (@pienar) September 29, 2020